Gif: gfy.com Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there! He wasn't there again today, Oh how I wish he'd go away! When I came home last night at three, The man was waiting there for me But when I looked around the hall, I couldn't see him there at all! Go away, go away, don't you come back any more! Go away, go away, and please don't slam the door... Last night I saw upon the stair, A little man who wasn't there, He wasn't there again today Oh, how I wish he'd go away... William Hughes Mearns He's still there Scotty, standing right behind you; those vacant, hooded eyes in that cadaverous countenance are studying your shoulder blades. You'll feel his fetid breath quicken and sense his arousal as he imagines plunging the shiv. The Prince Of Darkness, in the form of a potato, is getting tetchy. Herr Kipfler, the dismal Dutton, will not be denied his ultimate prize - the triumph of the dark forces of uniformed goons and hoodlums of his Gestapotato as the absolute political authority with himself as Ubermensch. Not satisfied with effectively being Skidmark Morrison's number 2 he desperately wants to take his place on the throne*. *S orry, but the poo jokes are too tempting - Skiddy's early release of a chocolate hostage in Engadine Maccers is just so emblematic of his political style - "I'll just drop this here and move along". And, who knew... his contrived daggy dad routine had literal origins. Spud-Dutton, the dark lord, is plotting and scheming; testing the mettle of Skiddy the great pretender by publicly opining on subjects that are still, as yet, outside of the broad-reaching netherworld that he'd built for himself when Trembles Turnbull as PM meekly surrendered his balls to the dark side. Spud on China Spud is not the ripest legume from the Lib's veggie patch; he's a man who thinks the Terracotta Army are soccer supporters from the small Balkans country of Terra Cotia, so when calling out the Chinese in Skiddy's absence there was no thought given beyond poking the dragon for effect - geeing up the winged monkeys of the lunar right by flashing his tough guy credentials to garner commitment to his evolving coup, and daring Skiddy to call him out - anything less demonstrates that Morrison is weak and vulnerable. The crusty-trousered clown from The Shire may have been the winner from the Liberal's last season of Survivor but his aberrant dedication to trickle-down theocracy, the painting of his farts as rainbows and his arrogant avoidance of accountability will make for a bad look as the next election draws closer and the dupes start to reach for the smirk removal cream. Surely though the feculence that is Dutton is beyond the pale, even for the Nasties? Howard was abhorrent, Abbott was ludicrous, Morrison is appalling and yet all three were embraced by the lead paint lickers who now dominate their party. Consider a random sample of the trough snorkellers who will be called upon to back the uber tuber - those grifters and gleaners who're swamping the drain: Count Yorga impersonator Kevin Andrews  - who, upon emerging from his crypt and opening an umbrella has people thinking he's turning into a bat.   Grecian 2000 poisoning had Kev fancying himself as PM material at one time but his inability to form an image in a mirror or cast a shadow spooks the punters.   Kev could boost Spud's appeal to the hordes of undead - those wrinkled masses of "where's my franking credits" fogies who would sell their grandchildren's future for a discount coupon at the bingo. Eric Fabio Abetz  has given up on his dreams of invading Poland, stripped to the waist on a panzer turret with blonde Aryan locks streaming in the wind as he rushes towards Warsaw. These days Fabio is holed up in Hobart managing his real estate portfolio, peeling oranges in his pocket to avoid sharing and licking his Tony Abbott bicycle seat collection.   The promise of a promotion to Reichsinspekteur of Tasmania could see Fabio endorsing Spud's pending night of the long knives.   James Paterson.  Monty Burns' love child, little Jimmy yearns for the day when he can grow a toothbrush moustache on his upper lip rather than having to train his emergent pubes into a fuzzy replica.   James would make an excellent apprentice for Spud, striding along the razor wire in black uniform poking the Newstart queues with his riding crop while fondling his sidearm.   This smarmy arse-dandruff is the future of the Nasties? Michaelia Cash , with alsatian at her side, snarling and foaming at the mouth (her, not the dog) hauling unionists from their beds, boiling bunnies and foreclosing on orphanages is a nightmare in a trouser suit.   I've seen more attractive heads hanging out of a poacher's pocket. This dunking stool passenger is ugly inside and out and hence an ideal candidate for Spud's front bench. Anne Ruston.  Equipped with a face like a kelpie's chew toy, a fully functional FMD chromosome and delusions of adequacy, Ruston is yet another bible-toting myopic moron from the Nasty Party book-burners' club.   This scatologist's specimen is one more six-fingered bandit who, on $200,000 p.a. + grift, thinks that $40 per day of Newstart is a disincentive to finding work. Ruston would be right at home in a filth-filled, fly-blown garbage skip i.e. any possible Dutton government. These are but a very few random examples of those who could back Dutton, Beelzebub in potato form, to deliver another spill. Morrison's new threshold for a leadership change requires two-thirds of the partyroom vote to trigger a spill motion, which is a difficult hurdle for Spud to overcome particularly given his Wile E. Coyote-level logistical skills. However, despite Skiddy Morrison's pretence that the Nasties are a "united team" they remain a tumult of hatreds, unfulfilled vendettas, venality and ugly ambition. Skiddy's daggy dad contrivance is devolving into a bogan-in-Bali national embarassment, Labor is finally starting to show some mongrel by targeting his weak spots (some may say wet spots) and Morrison's notionless floundering on any and all issues is becoming too obvious to ignore. The real intrigue however is what Dutton's pet spooks may have to use on Morrison and how Dutton may play those cards. Red Gladys, Chinese Communist Party enthusiast, Liberal member for Chisholm and ASIO person of interest. Prolific fund raiser and poster child of the Chinese Communist Party, Gladys Liu is skilled in the art of hiding in plain sight. With the Lib's habit of looking the other way when large donations are involved she could've rolled up to her preselection in a Chinese tank, the pulped entrails of Tianamen protestors congealed in its tracks, a burning Tibetan flag flapping and a cock & balls drawn on her forehead in day-glo lipstick and the Lib's would've just made sure the cash was banked before validating her parking. The Libs left it to Gladys to investigate herself on allegations she's a Chinese government agent of influence and to no-one's surprise she's returned a verdict of not guilty. But Spud's spook pals will have the full skinny on Glad - some leverage for her vote for a spill perhaps? Brian Houston, Jesus-R-Us CEO, entrepeneur, financial planner and Skidmark's BFF After airing the TV pilot of ScoMo Does Jesus At Horizon Church & Audi Showroom our proselytizing Prime Minister seems to have cooled on that particular maketing initiative, getting surly and evasive when his best bud Brian from Hillsong is mentioned in context of Scotty and Brian's excellent adventure to Trumpworld . Dutton knows that Morrison's bizarre brand of Jesusing and his default to prayer as a viable option for addressing climate change is a troubling dimension to his character. I'm willing to bet that as environmental crises and public discontent builds that Dutton will ramp up the demonising of protestors and dissident oganisations as a dog-whistle to the Nasty's hardcore climate trogolodytes - man of action vs Morrison's prayerful phaffing. Burned Spy. This is pure gold. QAnon is a right-wing conspiracy fantasy - QAnon's central premise is that Donald Trump is secretly working to take down a global ring of elite, cannibalistic, satanic pedophiles.1 QAnon is listed on the FBI Domestic Terrorism Watch List and has been associated with 8chan, where many members discussed and celebrated the mass shootings in Texas and in Christchurch. "One of the bigger QAnon followers in Australia tweets under the handle @BurnedSpy34. He has over 21,000 Twitter followers and tweets QAnon-related thoughts and memes, plus original posts about consciousness. Like many QAnon followers, his political theories are bizarre, sometimes veering into sheer fantasy." Newsweek @BurnedSpy34 is close family friend of Morrison's and his wife works on the PM's staff. You can bet your left bollock that Spud has mined all the info he can on this guy and will have this prepared as a potential coup de gras for his godly nemisis Scotty. Dutton won't want to stand idle as we get closer to another election and his prospect of multiple terms in opposition. He'll be getting antsy and Morrison will be getting nervous. If you think Morrison is an appallingly incompetent and dodgy PM you'd be right - but should the satanic potato succeed we'll be truly on a highway to hell. 1 QAnon- RationalWiki.com 8chan has infiltrated the government - friendlyjordies This article is re-posted on the Australian Independent Media Network

Is it coincidence that each nominee here is a right wing politician? Me biased? Sure, aren't we all? Labor has had its share of shifty arseholes - Eddy Obeid, Joe Tripodi, Tony Kelly, Mark Latham come readily to mind but each of these has gotten their well-deserved comeuppance. The Tories nominated here are either serving politicians or are sitting back on their tax-payer funded sinecures when many, if the world was fair would be in jail. In descending order of appallingness: #1. Spud Evil incarnate. The closest we have to our very own Heinrich Himmler* this abysmal creature revels in the mistreatment of refugees, exploiting their misfortune purely for his own political purposes. Observing Peter Dutton's behaviour should leave little doubt that behind those cold, dead eyes there lurks the soul of a psychopath. A deadpan, secretive authoritarian of monumental proportions, Il Douche has exploited the vulnerability of our spineless Prime Minister to engineer for himself an empire of dark-uniformed goons, spooks and bellicose door-breakers. One could accuse Spud of using those favoured LNP tactics of the dog whistle and the political wedge except that he has neither the subtlety nor the intellect to pull it off. Unbelievably this creep deludes himself that he is PM material and is maneuvering himself for the top job and, more unbelievably, the RWNJs of his party think the same. When you think, after Howard and Abbott, that the LNP could sink no lower they continue to surprise. *Godwin's Law does not apply whenever the subject is the obscenity that is Dutton. #2. The Wrecker His Feculence, Tony Clownshoes Abbott was gifted the PM's job thanks to the internecine stupidity of the then Labor government and the spiteful mendacity of Kevin Rudd. The fact that the Libs thought that Abbott was their best candidate for party leader says a lot about their lack of talent and their ideological power-at-all-costs embrace of Abbott's negativity and destructiveness. This inarticulate, stammering bully and coward substituted sabotage, dysfunction and antagonism for the vision, imagination and ideas that he so demonstrably lacks. Abbott's political style is akin to lighting farts in a fireworks factory. A weirdo, a homophobe and misogynist, there is something sad and pathetic about Abbott these days. Desperate for relevance and recognition he'll play to any nutter fringe audience. Delusional about his own stupendous failure he seeks validation from the loony-right ratbags in the media. Determined to bring down his nemesis Turnbull he's enthusiastically undermining his own party. He has no self-awareness and a tin-ear. A serial failure, indoctrinated in middle-ages dogma as a friendless child, he casts a short shadow and will be recorded in our political history as a laughing stock. If Parliament House had a belfry Abbott would have a suitable habitat, as it is he should confine himself to a Manly street corner with a sandwich board and a loud-hailer shouting at the less well off and pointing at brown people. #3. The Lying Rodent A master of the dog whistle, the political wedge and divide-and-conquer. An icon of the born-to-rulers, John Winston Howard was Australia's worst Treasurer and as PM manipulated a lurch to the hard right in politics by disenfranchising the moderate voices within his party. Howard lives in a 1950s bubble. His appeal is to the legions of sour, selfish tree-poisoners, old school tie born-to-rulers, royalists and lavendar-scented social climbers forever fearful that others may threaten their rightful station at the head of the queue. Their disease was spread by the Lying Rodent to the aspirationals - the deluded wanna-be tribes of self-employed tradies, suburban accountants and café owners whose only real value to the wealthy establishment is as a reliable source of Liberal votes. ‘Imagine a very committed funeral home director someone whose burning ambition from the age of 11 was to be a funeral home director. Then halve his personality and halve it again, and you have pretty well got John Howard.’ Bill Bryson, Down Under #4. Scummy A tambourine shaking ballot stuffer, Scummy hides from reasoned debate behind high volume ranting. This Jesus-shopper practices his speaking in tongues to shout over the top of any debate. Shouty McShoutyface likely believes the rapture will save his lard arse from the consequences of his tenuous grasp of economics and his embrace of Randesque ideology. #5. Trembles If only his belief in his own magnificence was translated to real life. The smartest man in the room is demonstrably inept as a politician, totally out of his depth, offering only meaningless waffle in defense of his selling out all of his principles in the pursuit of self-aggrandisement. Milquetoast Malcolm's great crime is his surrender of his ethics and standards to the dictates of the swivel-eyed crazies of his party. #6. Barnyard A standout humbug amongst championship level humbugs Barnyard Juice masquerades as an affable man of the land, hiding his incompetence, characteristic confusion and oblique practices behind a ludicrous affectation of veranda-brimmed Akubra that remains untroubled by the sweat of any actual labour. The puce-headed prick has never seen a tree that shouldn't be felled, he's never viewed a landscape that shouldn't be quarried, he's never hiked a field that shouldn't be fracked, he's never paddled a stream that shouldn't be dammed, he's never seen a seascape that shouldn't be drilled for oil. He's a carpet bagging huckster. #7. Chopper With her trademark grimacing, lipsticked rictus splitting her Spakfilla features she always looked like she was a few days late for her own funeral. Bronnie's pretention and sense of entitlement made her a figure of derision while her blatant bias as Speaker made her a figure of disgust. #8. The Ginger Whinger Fringe-dwelling, inarticulate, muddled, inconsistent, uninformed, belligerently ignorant and accompanied by some real nutters from the tin-foil hat brigade with enough members to be dangerous. #9. Otto Rabid acolyte of The Wrecker - a fandom bordering on the homo-erotic. Otto's greatest claim to fame, apart from his being unencumbered by personality or abilities outside of self-interest is his great uncle Otto Abetz, the nazi ambassador to Vichy France and a convicted war criminal. Along with Abbott and Andrews a paid-up member of the triple A.hole troika of the anti-environmental misnamed Monash Forum, rabidly pursuing an agenda to nationalise a decaying power station in stark contrast to the foundational doctrine of their own party. Hypocrisy is strong in this one, with a distinct irony deficiency. Familial leanings have helped Otto become a big wheel in the small machinery of Tassie politics. Like great uncle Otto, he's mostly a spent force. #10. The Rinse Of Darkness An uncanny likeness to a reanimated corpse with persona to match and a total lack of any abilities is not a barrier to ministerial office for those like Kevin Andrews who are true believers in rabid right-wing ideology. This whey-faced abuser of hair dye has had his reanimation fade along with his hair and he's returning to his rightful position as full time political corpse. Overview This is the creep the Libs nominated as their party leader, subsequently dumped only because the public was so appalled. And now, many in their party and their barrackers tout this as their hero and a role model for their future behaviour. This disaster was once our Prime Minister.

A discourse on disintegration - entropy as experienced by the codger Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin and Jim Morrison all did the right thing at age 27. They not so much fell off the perch as flung themselves enthusiastically from it. I am not promoting the notion of suicidal self-indulgence, I am just acknowledging the upside of not having to witness the sad decline of 1960s icons of cool and non-conformance. Have you seen the Rolling Stones lately? I don't want to watch my pop-cultural heroes degrade into geezers but rather to keep them in my mind as fixed-in-time embodiments of youthful exuberance and not-give-a-fuck attitude. They shall not grow old however i personally accept aging as the better of the two available options. In fact, i embrace it. It's true freedom. It's not having to live up to any expectations other than compliance to a codger stereotype to annoy the shit out of the consumerist, status driven Gen Xers and the self-obsessed, angst-ridden Millennials. It is tremendous fun to do so. Geezer fashion Nothing says " i have retained my don't-give-a-fuck attitude " more than does the geezer wardrobe and an indifference to its deployment. Indifference is the key factor - loose Speedos at the beach with one exposed testicle? Codger! A spotless Driz-A-Bone oilskin coat at a Southern Highlands antiques fair - wanker. Dusty and wrinkled at the grand-kid's soccer - codger. (Caution: Oilskin coat + loose speedos + exposed testicle + kid's soccer game = $3,000 fine and a life ban.) Baggy denim jeans with a dot-of-shame - codger. Pre-ripped $150 fashion jeans - style tragic. Is that egg in your beard? Codger! Who cares that the damp spots on the ratty Dunlop Volleys indicate a lack of bladder pressure? Harry Highpants. You can see my belly button? My fly is undone. Paunch not porch - the 'verandah over the playground' allusion doesn't wash when the 'playground' has obviously been neglected for some time and the verandah is sagging over the flaccid, abandoned bouncy castle. Underwear? Optional, but it's dangerous when not worn with shorts. Have you ever trodden on your own scrotum? Hair styles. Nothing says care-free aging funster like furry ear lobes. Facial hair. Non gender-specific. Geezer behaviour Fun for a time-on-his-hands codger is annoying the bejeezes out of the screen-obsessed acolytes of the personal brand and the selfie - the younger generations. Their screen obsession is a symptom of that well known phenomena - FOMO. Fear of missing out. And if there's one thing that really pisses off the Gen Xers (Yers are a bit more laid back) it is the knowledge that they have missed out. And they have missed out. Big time. They missed out on our music, they missed out on our freedom, they missed out on our cheap grow your own weed, they missed out on our carefree shagging. They missed out on the entire nanny state-free vibe. As a consequence they are resentful. Bwahahahaha! Xers are materialistic, they're career-driven, they're status obsessed and entitled - they're a generational representation of what we disdained. They are The Man. They are the mortgaged to the eyeballs, MacMansion-dwelling, SUV-driving purse-lipped finger-waggers and conformists who think that the world can't function without them. Anti-Boomers in a Beemer 7 series. They are a target for the amusement of we geezers. Stationary at a green light to adjust the car radio - that's me. Pulling into an empty servo to the first pump - that's me too. Paying for purchases in small change? Hi! Who's that old fart ahead of you waving through several vehicles at the intersection? Waiting for me to vacate this parking space? I'll just double check my cash register docket. I'm going to justify the wait in that long queue by entertaining the fetus serving behind the counter with several unsolicited anecdotes about the good old days. I will adjust my genitals in public, i will squeeze the avocados, i will pee on the seat. And the floor. I will do 3 laps of the roundabout. I will fart at the movies. I will start the lawnmower at 6:00 a.m. on Saturdays. I will lick the cheese sample and place it back on the plate. I will open the freezer door before making a decision, I will clear phlegm in crowded elevators, I will recommend a particular chocolate to someone's small child while in the check-out line, I will rearrange the furniture in public places and then keep walking, I will go to the most crowded spot on the beach to scatter my left-over chips for the seagulls, I will go into the gym with a cigarette in my face to ask a buffed fitness freak for a light,. I will, in short, go the full geezer. Footnotes Got home after driving down for bread and milk. Had put the milk on the floor of the car on the passenger side. On the drive back the milk bottle had slid over out of reach from the driver's seat. I drove round the block taking the corners at a brisk pace to get the bottle to slide back within reach rather than get out and walk around the car to retrieve it. I scribbled my PIN onto my local ATM. No one knows it's mine. If you suffer from hypochondria does that mean you really are sick? Brandyourself.com says my reputation score is "poor". That's some scarily efficient software. Perusing the low fat, gluten fee, nut free, natural ingredients on offer down at the local cafe - Me: "Do you serve anything fatty?" Cafe proprietor: "Your money's as good as anybody else's, luv." When driving in fog do you too lean forward? Jumped in the car, depressed the clutch to do up my seat belt.

A defining, stereotypical characteristic of a geezer is his rose-tinted glasses of misplaced nostalgia. Things just aren't as good as they used to be. Nor as good as they should be. What extra qualities do you need to be considered a grumpy geezer? Here's a check list to confirm whether you qualify: 1. Opinionated? Self-reflection is not a characteristic of a grumpy geezer; rather the certainty that you are always right is. This is irrefutable. Self-doubt and open-mindedness do not lend themselves to grumpiness. Geezers have the advantage of life experience - we've been around longer, have read more, seen more, thought things through for longer. Our opinions are therefore of a higher value and when that is not acknowledged we get grumpy. 2. Grumpy, but not cranky? Perpetual grumpiness is not necessary to qualify as a grumpy geezer; just a propensity for it. Even those glass-half-full optimists know, while not admitting to it, that the glass is also, by definition, half empty - the internet is a wonderful innovation (brought to you by baby boomers BTW) but it's 98% full of garbage and is a tool ripe for exploitation by Big Brother; capitalism has lifted millions out of poverty but is a Ponzi scheme that is destroying our planet. Crankiness though oversteps the mark. A grump will mutter and complain - a crank will be shouting at pigeons and passers-by and throwing the neighbour kids' misplaced toys into the bushes. 3. Eccentric? Hipsters wearing dress shoes without socks is not eccentricity - it's style slavery, a desperation to be cool and hip and "ironic"; these fashion tragics, adhering to an idiotic trend are clearly demonstrating that they are anything but cool. (NB: that's sarcasm, not irony. ) Eccentricity is behaviour that is outside the accepted norm. In a world of political correctness, conformance and fear of giving offence, eccentricity is to be celebrated and embraced. ( If eccentricity was widely adopted then it would become the new norm. That folks is irony. ) 4. Assuming the worst? Pessimism has inherent advantages. If things turn out for the worst we can be smug (see Opinionated ); if not, then the only downside is admitting that maybe we got it wrong. " An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true. " Anonymous 5. Pedantic? Pedantry is a virtue - particularly in the use of language. From the mundane (their/there/they're) to the egregious crimes of corporatese, from the meaningless drivel of marketers to the pollie waffle we get from our elected officials. The abuse of the English language will send the grumpy geezer into paroxysms of indignation. I am not promoting grammar nazism; the language is fluid and neologisms can be a wonderful thing - I am grumping about the lazy, the purposely obtuse, the mindless cliches, the gibberish and dross dressed up as communication. If the phrase "landing on water" gets on your tits then it's likely you're a fellow grumpy. 6. Speaking your mind? There are limits of course but those limits need to be far looser than the self-imposed censorship of the self-righteous snow flakes and the politically correct seeking offense everywhere - the new puritans wagging fingers and pursing their lips because, for example, the use of a gendered pronoun may cause discomfort. To who? I don't care if someone is *LGBTQI+, none of my business and good luck to 'em, but do we really need a taxonomy that is that precise? I won't label someone because of their sexuality but it seems many are determined to do it to themselves. And then shout loudly and indignantly from a loudhailer that the use of "he" or "she" is confronting? Fuck off! In Australia, surveys have identified more than 50 gender expressions while Facebook users in the UK and US have 71 options to choose from 7. Realist? Can someone claiming that things are not as good as they used to be then also claim to be a realist? You bet, because overall things just aren't as good as they used to be. There is no halcyon past for us to return to - our rose-tinted glasses provide 20-20 vision, but on balance i thank my lucky stars i was born a boomer. The post-WW2 anglophone countries experienced a huge lift in quality of life. We had access to the necessities without today's rampant, superficial consumerism, society was far more egalitarian, a stolen car made the papers, we were free and safe to wander the neighborhood, parks and the bush on the proviso we returned at dusk. This is no maudlin sentimentality, it's just the way it was and it was better than the way it now is. 8. Misanthrope? Do you have a non-discriminatory, generally applied view that humanity collectively really is a pain in the arse? Selfish, pushing, shoving, self-obsessed, destructive rabid consumers who take little if any interest outside their bubble? There's room in misanthropy for individuals to be acknowledged for their outstanding abilities and achievements. Isaac Newton, for example, was possibly the most brilliant scientist of all time. But he was also a miserable, misanthropic old coot. A grumpy geezer if you like. 9. Irreverent? A disdain for authority, a distaste for pomposity and pretension? Scornful of the self-important? Congratulations - you have strength of character and one of the traits of a grumpy geezer. Score 0 - 3. Why are you reading this? 4 - 6. You have potential. 7 - 9. Greetings fellow grumpy. Grumpy Geezers - a Spotter's Guide Walt Kowalski. Clint Eastwood, Gran Turino  A crusty, grumbling racist, he constantly refers to Asians as "zipperheads” and other slurs.   But when push comes to shove Walt stands up for the little guy. Basil Fawlty John Cleese, Fawlty Towers An "ageing, brilliantined stick insect" running the Fawlty Towers hotel, a class conscious snob who is obsequious to his betters and contemptuous of all others.   John Cleese himself described Basil as being a man who could run a top-notch hotel if he didn't have all the guests getting in the way.   Cleese successfully sued the Daily Mirror for libel when it described him becoming like his character. Perhaps the eccentric, lovable old Major (Ballard Berkely) is a better role model.   Doc Martin Martin Clunes, Doc Martin   Brusque, with a low tolerance of fools, stiff, lacking in social skills, straight talking. What's not to love? Statler and Waldorf The Muppets hecklers Snarky irreverence that can inspire the curmudgeon in any of us. . Albert Steptoe Wilfred Brambell, Steptoe and Son Neither Wilfred Brambell nor his character Albert Steptoe could be held up as fine examples of the grumpy geezer.   However, both qualify whether we like it or not. Tony Hancock Hancock's Half Hour   The gold standard of grumpy geezerdom. I defy anyone to watch two consecutive episodes of Hancock's Half Hour and not jump out a window. John Becker Ted Danson, Becker   I was well into the second episode of Becker before it dawned on me it was a comedy.   Dr John Becker - my hero. John Malkovich, Burn After Reading   He thinks he’s smarter than just about everyone else, he sees himself as a solitary sage in a land of idiots, deluded that others will be interested in his writings ....oh...wait! Melvin Udall Jack Nicholson, As Good As It Gets   Misanthropic, homophobic, alienating, germophobic but self-reliant and creative. A mixed bag.   The OCD is a nice touch.

And being the real Barnaby Joyce Original image " I’m not pretending to be anyone else, I’m still wearing the same glasses, sadly the same suits, and I weigh about the same, and I don’t mind a bit of Italian cake either. So, I’m happy in my own skin. " Scott Morrison pretending he's not a pretender. When you're Scott Morrison you need to pretend that you're not Scott Morrison In Latin the name 'Scott Morrison' translates as 'Gobshiteus Ad Nauseum'. OK, it doesn't but it should. Morrison is, however, a human ambigram - a condition known as Zachary disease , a symptom of which is the discharges from either end being indistinguishable. “ When you’re prime minister, you can’t pretend to be anyone else ” effluviated the originator of the ScoMo ® artifice in all of its manifestations: Old mate Sharkies tragic Drinking buddy Family guy Bob the builder Scotty next door BroSco, messiah from the Shire Musician Bon vivant Curry connoisseur Stoic bushie gazing into the distance Big rig truckie Lab tech Beautician Fighter pilot Long distance swimmer Team mascot Tank commander Trump whisperer Defender of Aussie values Father of the nation On the tools tradie Fiscal conservative Big spender Glorious leader One of the boys Insightful engineer (".. .they won't tow your boat, they won't tow your caravan ") Dog Lover* Mark McGowan's BFF * insert cat as required to cover the bases There is no escape from the stage managed appearances of this smarmy pillock in one of his many ScoMo contrivances. A flubbetered, be-moobed, crotch stained incontinent in his dress-up du jour who thought it a clever sledge to skinny-shame a trimmed down Albo. He's a colourless dullard who thinks that just enough electors to matter are stupid enough to indulge his inane charades when even Lib rusted-ons are rolling their eyes. Awkwardly for Morrison his assertion of authenticity has simpy highlighted his phoniness. Those that know him best said it best... Image: The Twitterati “ People may not agree with everything I have done but they know what I am about. ” Unfortunately for Faux this is probably true but not in the way he intends it. His general uselessness has alerted the politically disengaged that what he's about is photo-ops trumping substance, announcements substituting for delivery and that what he and his minders are all about is saturating a complicit media with stunts to distract from his habit of setting fire to his own head. The shameless lying of this media whore has caught him out - it's all on tape. The gullible, the lazy, the apathetic and the wilfully ignorant have had the real ScoMo rubbed in their faces via monumental failures in national crises so his fatuous marketing schtick and relentless bullshitting is blowing back in many and varied forms including many takes on his self-applied, asinine nickname: Scotty from Marketing, Diddley Scott and Smorph Spinocchio, Scurry, Smoko and Sir Smirksalot Smirko, Smuggo, Smarmo and SloMo Shirko, Sooty, Skiddy and Scooter Scuttle, SchMo, FauxMo and Shithead The odious prick has been fully exposed for who he really is to those who may have otherwise been inclined to ignore the obvious and now he's in panic mode. Still, it is fun watching him shit himself. This time, in real time. I may miss him when he's gone. The best retail politician in the country And so we move on to the B Team, the rustic oiks of the Nationals (t/a the Man-Coal Love Association) headed by a bloke who most of the nation gazes upon and, as with a penguin on a flag pole, wonders how the actual fuck he got there. Fermented brewster Boozerby Joyce, the stool to Morrison's dunce, red of face and blue of balls, has apparently earned his place at the pointy end of the bumpkin patch due to his focus on the bush. Having the intellect of plankton and the vocabulary of a Peppa Pig early reader must be essential attributes in the job description for these crem de la criminals for whom rorting is not a dodge but a credential. Image from Change.org Boozerby could detect the opening of a plain, brown envelope through a concrete wall so no-one is questioning his aptitude in that respect. What is a tad more challenging to understand is the appeal of his presence. This boke is unburied landfill, he's a physical manifestation of tourettes with the satorial elegance of an upended kitchen tidy. Culture is what grows between his toes, he has the coherence of gravel shaken in a rusty bucket and breath that should never be exposed to a naked flame. None of this reconciles the penguin/flagpole paradox. Perhaps he's just a reflection of his constituency. Rugged, self-reliant stoics always on the make for a hand-out. Big farmer, big polluters, water thieves, tree poisoners, pet abandoners, double parkers, seal clubbers, finger sniffers and those whose utes outnumber their books. Perhaps it's because Boozerby has overcome many challenges in his career, not least brewer's droop. Perhaps it's his personal contribution to employment opportunities within New England - of dry cleaners and designated drivers, divorce lawyers and Alco-lock beta testers, girlfriend placement agents and barmaids' bodyguards. Perhaps, gawd help us, it's because he really is the best the Nationals have got. The only good judgement either of these two have shown is that they hate each other.

When the Liberals run out of money they come after the poor " Calculated assaults on the most vulnerable and marginalised are reduced to the natural order of things. " Maeve McGregor, Crikey The Robodebt royal commission's findings clearly demonstrate why the Tories fear scrutiny and accountability. They have long abandoned any pretence of principled governance, relying instead on the complicity of the Murdoch spitoons' fabrications and the fever swamp of RWNJ radio to provide cover for their mendacity. Their behaviour was always there to see for those who could be bothered to look beyond the propaganda but now their ugliness has been paraded down the main street like a turd on a flat-bed truck accompanied by brass band and marching girls. The 'guilty til proven innocent' atrocity that was Robodebt is only now the cause of some red-faced shoe inspections by those who would rule over us, and while they may modify their artiface it won't change their innate bastardry. They'll amp up the dissembling, projection and obfuscation; dead cats will be thrown onto tables, dogs will be whistled but they will never demonstrate any humility or genuine contrition and will be only briefly distracted from opportunities to practice their nasty craft. Aware of the pending exposure Brother Stuie Robert legged it for the exit, following the onomatapaeic Alan Tudge into the perdition of historic damnation for "venality, incompetence and cowardice". The hubris of Christian Porter, of the born-to-rulers' catalogue of big swinging dicks, has seen this once PM-in-waiting reduced to Lionel Hutz status, touting his wares on sandwichboards on servo station forecourts. Brother Scotty still haunts the periphery, trousering the public coin as corporate Australia, conscious of reputational damage, lets his calls go through to voicemail. Never before has the country been led by such a repugnant, bullying blowhard who, convinced of endorsement from his eagle-staffed deity, saw a licence to ignore propriety and undermine anyone who stood in the way of the acclaim he thought was his God-given due. A feckless drudge who'd struggle to meet the KPIs of school hall monitor, a shonk who "disappeared" billions in rorts, a spiv who'd eBay his crusty undies as the shroud of Turin and a serial sackee who through guile and happenstance failed upwards into his risible, karaoke performance of PM - the role he debased with a "sly contempt for political norms" as Maeve McGregor of Crikey puts it. . Spud Dutton has walked into the cubicle after Morrison. A year after the Tories were thoroughly rinsed across the country it would be reasonable to expect he'd take the opportunity to air the place out. Spud's Cuddly Pete re-imaging is a work-in-progress - stitching together a human skin suit as cover for his mix of Myra Hindley warmth and Norman Bates bonhomie - a teddy bear tied to a bin lorry, a ruse that won't cover the smell. (Surely though it's apocryphal that visitors to the Chez Spud basement find themselves coughing up moth pupae.) This Silence of the Lambs metaphor should be qualified with the observation that Buffalo Bill at least showed an artistic bent that entirely escapes the beige that is our real life lockless monster. Spud's newly deployed Clark Kent specs don't disguise his inner Tubermensch - a truncheon-headed autocrat we've grown to loathe and despise since he came to notice with a range of outputs from his racist oeuvre . Untroubled by the burdens of either wit or intelligence he has ridiculed drowning Pacific island nations, tormented toddler asylum seekers, denigrated Melbourne's Sudanese communities and exploited division and rancour in the Voice debate, all as supplements to his hobbies of drowning puppies and putting nails in the hoola-hoops at daycare centres. Spud's predictable duplicity with his response to the Indigenous voice to Parliament shows a change-over of personel has not improved the Tories' amorality. His framing of the Libs as victims of Labor's scheming in the Robodebt saga is Trumpian in its up-is-down audacity. Not to be outdone in the scorched earth approach to acceptable standards the Lib's partners in crime, the Nationals, are reportedly again considering a return of pink pachyderm spotter Barking Barmy Joyce. When Barmy remains a viable option it says so much about the lack of talent pool that is the ignorant oik's party of choice. Temporary leader, the nominative-deterministic David Littleproud projects an image of himself looking for his own brain, but aesthetics aside he's yet another National committed to their cause of steering pork and the white elephants to regions in need instead of some fundamentals such as health and education that could be serviced by, and hear me out, a fully functional NBN. Barmy's mouth is the source of fevered allusions to a woke, left-wing dystopia and is home to a random placement of teeth like long-forgotten headstones in an abandoned churchyard . His lack of credibility is not matched by the certainty that his name is amongst the wideboys, spivs and persons of interest who have been referred to the newly opened National Anti-Corruption Commission. The outcome of the royal commission provides some succour to those citizens demonised and persecuted by their own government. The NACC will provide huge amusement for those of us who can't wait to see these toads cop some real consequences for their bastardry. * * * * * " Given the opposition is clearly in a state of denial over the report of the robodebt royal commission, it has obviously learnt nothing from past mistakes and would, if re-elected, presumably not hesitate to repeat them. " Editorial in The Canberra Times. Is Barnaby Joyce after the leadership again? - The Saturday Paper Taxpayers forked out $2.5m in legal expenses for eight former Coalition ministers, including two prime ministers, to be represented in the robodebt royal commission, with almost half a million for Scott Morrison. The Guardian.

The asinine ScoMo brand, daggy dad from next door, is no longer fit for purpose We can be entirely confident that the only people in the room when this photo was taken was Skiddy and his photographer. In the absence of any insight, imagination, empathy or ethics it was always going to happen; the real Scott Morrison has been fully exposed. His tissue thin credibility has fallen away to reveal the dodgy product beneath - a gutless grub, a deceitful charlatan, a sideshow spruiker and conman.` Scott Morrison's risible self-marketing as ScoMo the daggy dad from next door is about to be abandoned. Crises are a true test of character and our sausage-sangered, beer neckin' football groupie has been found wanting. When your house has burned down or your struggling sports club's bid for some much needed funding is guzumped by some silvertail's desire for a tax-payer funded cigar lounge for his badminton courts then the last thing you want is a smarmy, smirking, piss-stained twat in a cap invading your personal space for a photo-op. There are now many places in Australia where "ScoMo" would be ridden out of town on a rail so it's time for another rebranding. What will the lickspittles, myrmidons, grooms of the stool, empathy consultants and PR spivs come up with now? What is to be the next personality to be adopted by the shape-shifting FauxMo? How will they package a coward who abandons the country to the fires and blames his own kids, a porch climber who burgles $100,000,000 of our money to underwrite his election campaign? With whatever credibility he ever had now in tatters the grinning galoot cannot be seen near a sporting field without inviting derision, nor can he again flee his responsibilities in a crisis. The rorting of public money to benefit himself and his cronies will continue of course, as will the destruction of the environment - it's in the Tory DNA; they see elected office as a treasure hunt. So new disguises will be sought for the L/NP's behaviours. Disaster capitalism will be branded as disaster mitigation, scapegoats will be fingered, whistleblowers will be persued with renewed vigour, and the spiders web of conflicted interests will be hidden behind spurious confidentiality clauses and labyrinthine corporate structures. Rehearsed gravitas in the form of a stern-faced, take charge kinda guy pointing at maps; the authoritative figure at the head of the table surrounded by sycophants; feigned empathy dressed in chinos accessorised from R.M.Williams for the "staring thoughtfully into the distance with farmer" photo-ops; a practised choke in the voice and a work-shopped wiping away of a pretend tear - this is the fakery we will be confronted with as FauxMo tries to recraft his "personal brand" and rescue his true, facile self from further scrutiny. There'll be no more cringe-worthy eulogizing of cricketers as our true national heroes, the baseball caps will be mothballed, beer will be guzzled away from the cameras, the happy will be clapped behind closed doors. Despite these efforts the real Morrison will continue to bob to the surface. His punchable smirk will only ever be a glib, self-satisfied phrase away, his indignation at being queried and his barely concealed patronising contempt at being challenged will resurface - it's who he is and he won't be able to hide it. This Artful Dodger has as much substance as a snowman in a hot tub, and is so bereft of imagination he couldn't carry a stick through an open door. He leads an effluvium of Stasi, water thieves, tree poisoners, suplhorous wazzocks, dupes, loons, dangleberries, owner-operators, gowks, touts, sluggards and grifters - the type of people who have kids as potential organ donors and many of whom anticipate a lucrative, post-politics career plucking Gina Reinhart's chin hairs. No amount of re-imaging, spin, deflection, dissembling, humbug and lying can cover up for this nightsoilsman and his noisome product. The lights have come on for all but the toadies, the feckless dullards, the stupid and the deplorable. And all it took was the country in flames and the brazen, unapologetic theft of $100M. ScoMo as a product has been recalled. Now we await the same fate for Scotty From Marketing1 who invented him. Trivia. Liar From The Shire is an anagram of Holier Shit Farmer. 1 Scotty From Marketing is a clever neologism from the Betoota Advocate.

"Fair dinkum mate" I heard on the news A bloody big bus was out for a cruise Painted on the sides in big bolded type Was ScoMo's latest slogan A load of old tripe ScoMo's new image was there to be seen Across parts of Queensland where he'd never before been The locals were puzzled "Who the fuck is that prat?" The answer was prompt, it came quickly back "We don't really know him, that twat in the hat" A pie in his one hand, a beer in his other But a dinkum true blue is what we would druther Not a second rate ad-man, and try-hard at that Shouting and ranting and denying the facts We don't really like him, that twat in the hat "Just one bloody moment" came a cry from the back "I've come a long way down that dusty bush track" " I'm the real deal - a rustic wombat'' The purple-faced pisshead pushed his way to the front "If you're after fair dinkum then I'm the twat in a hat" Is this the worst band in the world? The malignant monsignor from Manly: Abbottageddon The Undead - haunting the House under the hill Egregious arseholes - The Top Ten

Squizzy's a little suss The Gate Keeper. More gates than Heathrow Angusgate - the collective noun for watergate, grassgate and Clovergate - $80M of our money for evaporated water, ecocide and the mystery farmer from Yass, and forged claims of Clover Moore's expenses. From Sussan to Angus - both burdened with a redundant consonant but only one has the full suite of born-to-rule Tory credentials - scion of the Monaro plains squattocracy, an alumnus of the boys only The Kings School*, law and economics at Sydney University and a Rhodes scholarship to Oxford. And, most importantly, he has a dick. *Year 12 - $50K tuition fee + $38K boarding fee thank you very much. Rugby, cricket and Christianity inc. Those qualifications were later supplemented by creating synergistic value propositions with key stakeholders, leveraging learnings, circling back, opening kimonos, monetising intrinsic values, touching base and reaching out as a management consultant at McKinsey and Co and Port Jackson Partners. All of this supports Angus's claims of championing we common folk. Kiss O'Death Tony Abbott has said that Angus is “ the best person for the job...the next election is winnable ”. Half-term Tones' rabid puritanism , destructive negativity and appalling judgement set in train the federal Lib's death spiral, so such endorsement will amuse those amongst us who expect Angus's charred remains to wash up on the shores of Lake Burley Griffin some time shortly after polls close at the 2028 election. "...what a lot of people say about Angus Taylor is he is the best qualified idiot they've ever met," Malcolm Turnbull Angus's performance in Parliament has been limited to functioning as a chew toy for treasurer Jim Chalmers. Angus brings a balloon on a stick to the Question Time gun fight. He's at his best when he tries to shrink into the green leather of the Opposition benches. Scandal magnet Angus's name recognition stems mainly from his various gates. The Fidel D'Figueres award for creative Caymans accounting is a shoo-in for Squizzy's Watergate should there be any substance to suspicions of dodgy dealings. $80 million of our money for non-existent water to old chums and Liberal party donors? Squizzy gets very toey at any suggestion of impropriety on his part. The poisoning of endangered native species is not something that would upset the ecocidal maniacs who infest the Libs and the Nats. Unfortunately for the Taylor family it's illegal and they were sprung for doing just that, whence Angus "sat in" on the strong-arming of public servants to look for loopholes. Big A claimed he was assisting with enquiries on behalf of a constituent "farmer from Yass". Perhaps he was misheard. A farmer from "y'ass" maybe, given he was never able to be located. The zoo keeper's bucket that is the Coalition's version of an energy policy manifests as a series of clownish gambits to undermine renewables and maintain the rivers of gold to the pals in the fossil fuel industries. From newly discovered concerns for the well being of whales supposedly endangered by wind turbines to Chinese Communist plots to deindustrialise the West these fuckers will give any idiocy a run, and Angus as energy minister was head clown. Hence Clovergate. Clover Moore, Sydney Lord Mayor, is every RWNJ's bête noire. A woman, in authority, a "woke" inner-city, latte/chardonnay sipping elite who is successful and popular and horror of horrors, a champion of net zero. Enter our hero. Armed with what anybody but a fucking idiot would recognise were dodgy numbers Angus dropped a bucket of ordure all over his own head via a doctored document slipped to Liberal Party Promotions Pty Ltd trading as News Corp, claiming Moore's office had spent more than $15M on travel when the real costs were circa $6K. Fiddle da figures indeed. And this guy was Spud's shadow treasurer FFS! Cathy Wilcox, the SMH Wearing a symbolic white suit, less suffragette more White Ladies Funerals given the circumstances, and with her trademark forced smile that always betrayed her loose convictions, suggestive of someone who'd just been handed a turd on a spoon, Sussan Ley departed gracefully. Suss met all expectations for a female Liberal leader - shivved by the boys' club. Any sympathy I may have had for her gig evaporated upon her shrill, performative outrage over the still warm bodies of 15 murder victims. Look on the bright side Suss - Andrew Hastie will be gunning for Squizzy in short order. Memory joggers Not a drop of water after government spends $80m on rights from agribusiness. Anne Davies, The Guardian. 31 Oct 2019 Company part-owned by Angus Taylor illegally poisoned grasslands, ministerial review finds. Lisa Cox, The Guardian.14 Dec 2021 Angus Taylor apologises to Clover Moore 'unreservedly' over false travel figures. Christopher Knaus and Anne Davies. The Guardian. 31 Oct 2019

Previous hopes of Umber One's imminent demise were dashed. Maybe this year... Perhaps his coffin could be adorned with his FIFA Peace Prize - provided the lights aren't too strong and melt the chocolate. What will the obituaries cover when it finally happens? De mortuis nil nisi bonum dicendum est - of the dead nothing but good is to be said. It is inappropriate for the living to speak ill of the dead who cannot defend or justify themselves. If thus applied to Donny the eulogies will be mercifully short. Trump of course respects no such niceties. He possesses neither sympathy nor empathy. He cannot even pretend. When misfortune is visited upon a trumpophobe he delights in their torment, joking about the hammer attack on Nancy Pelosi’s husband for instance. Upon his own eventual demise, amidst the celebrating and the removal of all of that faux gold tat, he'll deserve nothing but contempt. Consider his response to the murder of Rob and Michele Reiner: The nastiness supplements his narcissism and avarice, the foundational flaws of the effluvia of personality defects that congealed to form this orange-stuccoed vulgarian. Flavoured with malice, coloured with carnality, fulfilled via criminality but every atrocity and every failing is subsumed within his flatulent, bloviating yet fragile self-regard and his bottomless greed. An absurd, discoloured objet d'ridicule, petty, petulant, vindictive, vituperative, crude, stupid, an autofellating gobshite, a thin-skinned, self-congratulatory fabulist who is readily manipulated by flattery and for whom loyalty is demanded but never returned. Truth is entirely dispensable, facts are irrelevant - if Covid deaths are not counted then there is no pandemic (" If we stopped testing we'd have fewer cases "), if the data is not collected climate change is not happening. Alice in Wonderland. A megalomaniac with delusions of omnipotence, though his needy, whiny omnipresence is more than real in daily tirades on his Truth Social shitter-Twitter app, in his catalogue of trashy, gold-themed merch, his Trump-branded baubles and tawdry monuments to himself, in daily headlines of his latest outrages and soon on $1 coins that are planned to feature his image. It manifests in his insertion of himself and his insecurities into every issue from befouling the John F. Kennedy Center with his own name to bragging to a young child from Pennsylvania on a staged PR Christmas call - " Pennsylvania is great, we won Pennsylvania, actually three times. We won it a landslide ". He has announced that the US will commission a new series of heavily armed Navy "battleships" to be named after himself. “ ...I have approved a plan for the Navy to begin the construction of two brand new very large, the largest we’ve ever built... and, uh, there’s never been anything like these ships...they’ll be the fastest, the biggest, and by far, one hundred times more powerful than any battleship ever built. if you take the biggest one, it’s one hundred times more powerful, uhhhhh - they’re longer... and they’re bigger, they’re bigger ships...they hold much more- they use the word ‘lethality. ’” The proposed ships are, a former rear admiral said, “ focused on the president’s visual that a battleship is a cool-looking ship ”. In an artist's illustration the vessel sports an image of Trump on its upper deck. A solipsist, he has no ideology beyond the self. There is no cause other than Trump. His life is an endless pursuit of applause and acknowledgement of his specialness. Not even the office of POTUS assuages his neediness. He claims criticism of him is treason. The world is familiar with the hubristic jingoism of many Americans but Trump dials the rodomontade to 11. The tiresome, incessant, self-aggrandising bombast - referencing an MRI he boasted that a doctor said it was “ the best result he has ever seen ”. A gobshite whose braggadocio is mistaken for achievement by the MAGA rubes or excused as showmanship by his fluffers and appeasers. A sideshow spruiker in the role of leading man, a narcissist who prefers theatrics and the spotlight to the demands of real accomplishments. The rancid stench of corruption is now out in the open, even celebrated, whether it's his personal grift, expansion of executive power or the perversion of institutions from a compromised SCOTUS and DoJ through to the adulteration of the conscience of the nation. Not so much a presidency as a shakedown: Pay to play - $1 billion extorted from oil companies to cut regulations and their taxes, hundreds of millions in pro bono work from law firms in exchange for access to government contracts, subjugating the media through lawsuits that they cowardly settle for $millions and standover tactics for a cut of the action with Intel, Nvidia and AMD¹. Trump withdrew US security guarantees with allies, replaced by the payment of protection money. Trump pardons cronies who boost his crypto coin. Trump invests in corporations that he's supposed to be regulating. Trump cuts deals with autocrats to advance his family's real estate business. Selling citizenship in the form of ‘Trump Gold Cards’. " Everything in the US is for sale to the wealthy, friend or foe. Citizenship, work visas, security guarantees, key industries, advanced military capabilities, AI and sensitive tech. For the right price, anyone can have whatever they want. ² " There is no decency he has left unoffended. His default setting is unconstrained, promiscuous flouting of proprieties. Rules are for suckers. He is impulsively nasty to women and is a serial sexual assailant. He fetishizes revenge and violence. He uses the machinery of government to license his crimes and persecute his opponents. He has declared a concept, Antifa, a “terrorist” organisation to supress lawful protest and quash dissent. "Merry Christmas to all, including the Radical Left Scum that is doing everything possible to destroy our Country, but are failing badly." Trump's opening lines to his Christmas message 2025 "Papers please!" Americans' right to move freely without proving their legitimacy to the state has been removed. ICE agents may stop individuals based on “reasonable suspicion” (i.e. their dusky shade) and detain them to verify their immigration status. The White House has demanded the ICC alter its founding document, the Rome Statute, to ensure blanket immunity for Trump and other top officials thereby acknowledging genuine legal vulnerability. Trump's pathetic, fruitless whimpering for Nobel Prize recognition is a greater humiliation for him than the supposed affront of a black president being so honoured. This is possibly the most apt metaphor for his sorry character and dysfunctional achievements. Trump by the numbers 30,000+ documented lies by the end of his first term $355 million in civil judgments 78 Mar-a-Lago health violations for rust, mould and parasites 34 felony convictions 6 bankruptcies 5 draft deferments 4 indictments 3 wives 2 impeachments 1 insurrection 0 Nobel Peace Prizes Trump's fines & settlements over the years... 1988: $750K Anti-trust lawsuit Bally 1990: $750K Defamation for accurately predicting Trump Taj Mahal would fail 1991: $200K Removing black workers from casino floor 1991: $30K Circumventing state regulations 1998: $1.4M Hiring of undocumented workers 1998: $447K Money laundering violations 2000: $250K NYS Lobby Commission 2006: $100K Palm Beach flag ordinance 2015: $799K Defamation Trump University Student 2015: $10M Money laundering violations 2016: $50K Data & credit card breaches 2016: $1.3M FEC disclosure errors 2017: $25M: Trump University fraud 2019: $2M: Trump Foundation fraud 2019: $290K: Scotland wind farm 2021: $122M: Trump campaign forced to refund to donors 2022: $110K: Contempt of Court 2022: $750K: Funneling Inaugural funds to his business 2022: $1.6M Guilty 17 counts criminal tax fraud 2023: CFO sentenced to prison 2023: $10K for attacking court personnel 2023: $1M Court sanctions bogus lawsuit including $171K to be paid to Hillary 2023: $5M E Jean Carroll sexual assault 2024: $83.3M E Jean Carroll defamation 2024: $392K Court sanctions bogus lawsuit- NY Times 2024: $453M business fraud Trump's lackies... Trump's Chief Strategist Steve Bannon - Convicted Felon Trump's Trade Adviser Peter Navarro - Convicted Felon Trump's Campaign Adviser Roger Stone - Convicted Felon Trump's National Security Advisor Michael Flynn - Convicted Felon Trump's Company CFO Allen Weisselberg - Convicted Felon Trump's Campaign Chair Paul Manafort - Convicted Felon Trump's Deputy Campaign Chair Rick Gates - Convicted Felon Trump's Personal Lawyer Michael Cohen - Convicted Felon The Trump regime has employed over 30 people who have worked for a TV station that was fined $787 million for lying to its viewers. Trump has fired… The Navy Chief of Staff The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs The Head of the Navy Seals The Naval Operations Chief The US Navy Reserve Chief The Head of the US Cyber Command The Head of Defense Intelligence The Coast Guard Commandant The Air Force Chief of Staff The Air Force Vice Chief of Staff The top of AF Global Strike Command The top legal officer of the Air Force The top legal officer of the Army The top legal officer of the Navy The top legal official of the CIA If he intends to launch another coup attempt at the mid-terms or in 2028, or formally ally with Russia, he can't have a principled military standing in his way. (As a practicing coward the only wars he's been active in as Commander In Chief are conflicts of interest.) The Pedo files A creepy uncle, a changing room lurker, a grabber of pussies, possibly even his daughter's so keep a puke bag handy, because yes, that is a bit of sick you will taste in the back of your mouth - " Aides said Trump talked about Ivanka Trump's breasts, her backside & what it might be like to have sex with her, remarks that once led (former Chief of Staff) John Kelly to remind the president that Ivanka was his daughter. ³ " . He once said of a child he saw on an escalator " I'm going to be dating her in 10 years" . A close confidante to a pedo sex trafficker, a facilitator who fulfils the role of "friend", Jeffrey Epstein told the journalist Michael Wolff that he was Trump’s closest friend for ten years. "The only photos you ever see of Donald Trump where he is authentically smiling in the presence of another human being, is with Jeffrey Epstein." David Frum @ thebulwark.com The Christian shtick The applauding of the persecution of asylum seekers during Christmas is the quintessence of the evangelical MAGA's selective application of their Christian values. Masked ICE goons disappearing people from the streets because of their middle eastern skin tones and shipping them to Salvadoran gulags is likely not endorsed by their lord and saviour - as Nordic looking as he may be. This does however explain how these self-righteous hypocrites can look at Donald Trump and see a man on a mission from God. Trump knows an easy mark when he sees one so he's all on board the Jesus train when the cameras are rolling. He was once asked what Bible verse most informed his character. He responded with “ an eye for an eye. ” The charisma of Donald J. Trump Grandpa Highpants McTinyhands. This is MAGA's golden god. The facial aesthetic of a composted jack-o-lantern topped by a threadbare, tortuously coiffed merkin, the chin minge, the cankles, the flatulent narcolepsy, the overflowing Depends with toilet paper stuck to his shoe, his puckered sphincter pout accompanied by invisible accordion hands and rudimentary oratory comprised of a slurry of random words and lies and with " no discernible taste - in food, clothes, architecture, books, music, business or people ⁴". His is a regime characterised by kitsch, ostentation and vulgarity be it gilded tat disfiguring the Oval Office, bloated Mar-a-Lago face of the botoxed Strumpets or the fireworks and merch at Erika Kirk's memorial for her recently dead husband. Gibberish and magical thinking The appalling imbecility of a lissencephalic dullard - a self-professed genius who confuses a dementia screening with an IQ test. He thought American stealth bombers were literally invisible, being perplexed at how technicians could then work on them. Hannibal Lector is an actual person in Trump's atrophied brain, wet magnets don't work, California's water flows down from Canada because, you know...gravity, windmills cause cancer and he has a buffoonish insistence that 600% reductions in prices are a feasible thing and that tariffs are paid by foreigners . "An old fashioned term that we use -- groceries. I used it on the campaign. It's such an old fashioned term, but a beautiful term. Groceries. It says a bag with different things in it". He is insulated from reality by self-absorption, obsequious flunkies and creeping dementia. "Nobody explain to me how allowing millions of people from places unknown, from countries unknown, who don’t speak languages—we have languages coming into our country, we have nobody that even speaks those languages. They are truly foreign languages. Nobody speaks them." Trump, 29th February 2025, in a speech in Eagle Pass, Texas "I took cognitive tests. By the way, not easy. The first question is like what is this and they show a lion, giraffe, fish and a hippopotamus. And they say which is the giraffe." Trump, 20th December 2025, North Carolina ' Decisions of great consequence are made on the whims of a moron .' Surrounded by ballbag gargling sycophants he has no friends - only fawners, spongers and wannabes and the techno-libertarian parasites Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, Mark Zuckerberg and Vivek Ramaswamy, and Fox News et al who all are America's Ferdinand Porsche, Hugo Boss, Bayer, Deutsche Bank, IG Farben and Krupp - profiteering from totalitarianism. All the king's whores and all the king's men When assigning administration positions Trumpty Numpty applied a cynical role inversion - defence is war, environmental protection is to be environmental exploitation, education is book banning, communication is censorship, free speech is forbidding terms⁴ such as gay, transgender and climate change, vaccines are a health threat and justice is pardoning insurrectionists, narco kingpins, donors, confreres and seven Republican congressmen who'd been convicted of crimes. “President Trump has assembled the most talented and capable cabinet in American history,” White House spokesperson Abigail Jackson A representative sample of the talent he has deployed: A former professional wrestling CEO as secretary of education who dismantled the Department of Education. A long-time climate science denier in charge at the EPA. An overt Russian asset as director of national intelligence (known as Наша девчонка   by her Russian handlers). There's ICE Barbie Kristi Noem whose audition for secretary of homeland security was shooting her puppy in the head and there's Pete Hegseth, the pisspot former Fox News commentator, noted Signal abuser and accused rapist as secretary of defence/war because " looking the part matters more than being qualified for it because in America it does." ⁵ Kash Patel, a goggle-eyed, out-of-his-depth conspiracy theorist as FBI director whose default 'uh-oh' facial expression suggests one of his anal beads has just dislodged. He purged the FBI of agents who'd been assigned to work J6 cases and he has a girlfriend who sings at wrestling matches. The law & order triumvirate for 'truth, justice and the American way': AG Pam Bondi and deputy AG Todd Blanche - the leading law officers of the land who will be seeking a presidential pardon from their orange overlord lest with a post-GOP Congress they both find themselves in jumpsuits colour-coordinated with spray on Trump-o-Tan. Then there's J. Edgar Doofus, who had he not been appointed head of the FBI would be getting chased down the street by ICE goons given his dusky tint. A wildlife necrophile whose own head was retrieved at a graverobber's closing down sale. A vax contrarian/health secretary who has taken the Kennedy family's legacy of infidelities and successive tragedies on an unexpected tangent with beheaded whales, dead bear cub feng shui and cringe erotica ( “ Yr open mouth awaiting my harvest,... ”). . The Kennedy mystique could accommodate prolific philandering, "Happy Birthday, Mr. President", JFK-RFK-Marilyn Monroe, Chappaquiddick, a secret, botched lobotomy, Judith Campbell and the Chicago mafia, an affair with a young babysitter, and even a rape case. It took RFK Jnr's Trumpification and vax quackery to burst the Camelot bubble. Nosferatu McGoebbles ⁴. While Trump golfs, grifts, browses Despot Depot magazine for décor ideas, rage tweets and fantasises about pre-teen girls it's this guy who is running the country. Take one Peter Dutton, marinate in shattered hopes and dreams, simmer in the juice of Rasputin, stir in essence of Uriah Heep, add a dash of Himmler, sprinkle with Roy Cohn's ashes, some phlegm and a scrape of under-shoe accumulations and allow to fester in a discarded colostomy bag and you have White House policy director Stephen Miller. Stephen Miller got into politics because his arms were too weak to strangle prostitutes - internet meme. Stephen King could not have invented such a malodorous personification of evil. (Hat tip to the parents of Department of Homeland Security’s acting chief security officer who named their daughter Iwona B. Horyn. Yes, that is her real name. ) The Trump legacy America has blown 80 years of accumulated goodwill and trust among its allies. America’s former role is gone. America will never be trusted again because when at last he's dead there'll still be enough Americans to vote in someone just like him. After experiencing how appalling he was in his first term they voted for him again. A fawning lickspittle to murderous despots he alienates allies and empowers enemies. Should there be another major terrorist attack on U.S. soil the participation of any "coalition of the willing" in seeking retribution will be grudging at best. The U.S. has jeopardised its own security. Who amongst its current allies will share intel that is subject to being disclosed to Putin? Who will want to be BFF with a Kremlin stooge? Trump has alienated Canada and Mexico, threatened the U.N., Greenland and Denmark, Panama and Venezuela, insulted NATO, Europe generally and demeaned Volodymyr Zelenskyy specifically and annoyed Japan while he curtsies to Putin and accommodates China, the biggest threat to Australia's security. The U.S. interferes in its allies’ domestic affairs, encouraging the far-right and undermining Western countries' sovereignty - t he Trump administration sanctioned several European officials after Elon Musk was fined for violations of their Digital Services Act. Trump has withdrawn from 66 international organisations, including 31 United Nations entities including WHO, UNESCO and the UNHRC and slashed funding of USAID. He withdrew from the Paris Agreement because " America First! "... the USA apparently enjoying its own separable climate. The U.S. is developing global pariah status. " An authoritarian regime that tries to jail its critics, kidnap citizens off the streets, commit extra-judicial killings and war crimes, demand the media prevent criticism of the Dear Leader and call for the execution of political opponents. ⁸" 'Under Trump the U.S, is not the envy of the world, it's a warning.'   Rather than the gaudy pretension of Trump's ballroom, designed in Las Vegas bordello style, or his proposed grandiose triumphal arch his passing should be marked instead by merch outlets at his funeral service and a strong smell of ammonia on his headstone. “ Jesse, it’s a monument. I’m building a monument to myself because no one else will. ” Trump to Jesse Watters of Fox News on his hideous White House ballroom. ***** When he's finally despatched to the clunge country club in the sky, dribbling, shitting and gibbering the event will be marked by fawning hagiographies from distraught cultists whose bile, post mortem, will go without the imprimatur of their pumpkin-coloured vessel of God. The canonisation of Charlie Kirk (no pun intended) will look tasteful in comparison to the coming extravaganzas of mercantiled grief when Donny pops his clogs. Corporate media will seek balance - sure, he was a total douche but he was the guy who dreamed up Gaza Golf Resorts and Spas Inc and who thought outside the box (nuking hurricanes, waterbombing Notre Dame, alligator infested moats on the Mexican border anybody?). Heads of state will issue polite lamentations, carefully crafted to avoid any celebratory tone. There may be back-handed compliments - 'he weaned us off assuming the U.S. was reliable', but not in those exact words :) History will be far less equivocal. Toadies and arse kissers will wash off the orange, claiming to have been part of the resistance from the beginning or, in Trumpian style, seek to make a quid from his corpse via "tell all" books that paint themselves in the best light. Perhaps Melania will go commando at the wake in anticipation of a consoling hug from a hunky Secret Service agent. But the streets will fill with cheering crowds. Strangers will embrace. Tears of joy will flow. Bars will fill with revellers. Sadly El Cheeto wont be around to see it. ¹Politico. Donald Trump, the shakedown president ²Ron Filipkowski, editor-in-chief of MeidasTouch Network ³Blowback, Miles Taylor, a former chief of staff of the Department for Homeland Security. ⁴ Vince Mancini titled "A Timeline of Donald Trump Discovering the Word 'Groceries ⁵The American Blonde Bombshell. Mike Madrid ⁶Nosferatu McGoebbles - borrowed from   Jeff Tiedrich ⁷ 250+ words and phrases reportedly no longer considered acceptable by the Trump administration - Pen America ⁸Bernard Keane, Crikey References Study Finds Trump Has The Vocabulary Of An 8-Year-Old Child. Marie Clare, 5 November 2024 " Trump’s overall score was... equivalent to the reading ability of a third-grader within the American educational system. " Matt Gurney: 'We will never fucking trust you again' Some blunt talk for our American neighbours at the Halifax International Security Forum. Matt Gurney, The Line, 9 December 2025 Trump's psychopathology and the suicide of a superpower Claire Berlinski, The Cosmopolitan Globalist 26 Oct 2025 · " Donald Trump lives in a world of delusions. The things he believes aren’t true. Media accounts suggest that those around him treat him like a relative with dementia. They tell them whatever he likes to hear, so long as it keeps him happy and calm. They don’t correct his misapprehensions. They strive, instead, to make the world conform to his fantasies. " Just What Were Donald Trump's Ties to the Mob? Politico Magazine, 22 m ay, 2016 " ...Trump’s career has benefited from a decades-long and largely successful effort to limit and deflect law enforcement investigations into his dealings with top mobsters, organized crime associates, labor fixers, corrupt union leaders, con artists and even a one-time drug trafficker whom Trump retained as the head of his personal helicopter service. " New plaques on Trump’s ‘Presidential Walk of Fame’ offer pointed descriptions of predecessors. " The White House has installed plaques along President Donald Trump’s “Presidential Walk of Fame,” offering descriptions of his predecessors, often written in the style of his social media posts — including insults, baseless claims and random capitalization. " Alejandra Jaramillo, Kit Maher. CNN 18/12/25 What Trump offers is an easy escape from the pain. To every complex problem, he promises a simple solution. He can bring jobs back simply by punishing offshoring companies into submission. As he told a New Hampshire crowd—folks all too familiar with the opioid scourge—he can cure the addiction epidemic by building a Mexican wall and keeping the cartels out. He will spare the United States from humiliation and military defeat with indiscriminate bombing. It doesn’t matter that no credible military leader has endorsed his plan. He never offers details for how these plans will work, because he can’t. Trump’s promises are the needle in America’s collective vein... He makes some feel better for a bit. But he cannot fix what ails them, and one day they’ll realize it. JD Vance, Opioid of the Masses, The Atlantic 2016 This is the guy who denigrates the US military saluting a North Korean general.

The tattered remnants of the "natural party of government" experienced a collective bout of the vapours when their keys to the nation's treasure were confiscated and the very real prospect arose that some of their most egregious persons of interest would be held accountable for the boondoggles, daily scandal and general douchebaggery. They are now re-grouping under new management to reactivate the fear and loathing that is their brand. Cartoon: Alan Moir The Game Of Mates is the Tories' raison d'être - it gives the tawdry existence of their party some meaning, it puts the 'dicks' in Big Swinging Dicks ® , it's their viagra, their self-esteem. It's the foundations of the Tory ecosystem, it's the glue that binds their warring tribes who otherwise despise each other. The Thatcherites, cutpurses, chancers & urgers and glory holers, the bible-bending mammonites and the poofter bashers that make up their number were all collectively bereft that the grift without access to our money is unworkable. Now no lie is too outrageous, no sanctimony is too hyprocritical to facilitate the big con, to once again seek to serve their neo-liberal instincts for national asset stripping and stealing our money to gift to their pals. Their big problem as they arise from the fainting couch and straighten their hair is how to sell their shitfuckery anew to punters who had abandoned them due to that very same shitfuckery. You can accuse the Tories of many things and if any of those things is derogatory then there's a fair chance it will be true. Like herd stupidity. Thinning this herd by taking out the lame and the dimwitted is futile if the objective is to improve the breed. These dullards actvely disenfranchise their best and brightest ( i.e. the less repulsive ) leaving a shallow gene pool that has an animatronic legume as its figurehead and as 2IC a befuddled ditz who's out of her depth at the wading end. What these clowns in their wisdom seem to have decided upon is a threefold strategy: After moderate electors abandoned their party the worst-of-the-worst are pushing further right and doubling down on the issues that saw them thrown from office. Yet unless they win back the seats lost to independents they’ll need an unrealistic 54% of the 2PP for majority government. Then also they adopt the blanket negativism of the rabid Abbott's clownship regardless of the harm to the national interest. After being laughed from office Abbott's been haunting the periphery with delusions of a Churchilian return, reminding voters of the Christo-Taliban who infect the Tories yet the modus operandi of a bloke whose term as PM was shorter than the shelf-life of Leonardo DiCaprio's girlfriends still inspires the surviving Tory by-catch. They will politicise every issue ala Punchable McSmirkFace. Morrison personified the most soporific, contemptible, mercenary government in our history, yet the Libs have never seen a bad idea that they aren't prepared to repeat. The stage 3 tax cuts being a perfect example - they are salivating at the prospect of a political wedge. What's best for the country is entirely irrelevant in the pursuit of political point scoring. Lessons learned? These idiots keep pressing the close button on the elevator doors that their heads are trapped in. Their attempts at reputational recovery are at Sideshow Bob level. If you've ever peed on an electric fence you'll recognise the presentation skills of Lib deputy douche, the Tories' head tosser Sussan Ley. Bed hair, rapid eye blinks and facial tics suggest the speaking points on her whine list are being transmitted via vibrating anal beads. Suss elicits an image not so much of windswept, womanly intuition, more a blancmange in a windtunnel; barely holding together a coherent sentence in her stream of contrived outrage at whatever the Tory spin machine has nominated as the deflection du jour. Bluster serves as camouflage, shame and embarrassment ooze from her pores as she snivels her self-pity where, after 9 years of neglect, incompetence and criminality everything is the fault of someone else . Trotting out LeyZ to front the media highlights at least some instinct within the party that the big tuber, Spud Supreme, was not yet ready for full, uncensored public consumption. Unfortunately for them most people know exactly who he is and so the Cuddly Pete treatment will be trowelled on by the pamphleteers at News Corp as cover for his innate, menacing, deadpan shtick on the occasions he escapes his keepers. Spud is sticking with his greatest hits - fear, uncertainty and doubt; Spud's FUD. Brownish toddlers threatening our way of life by inspiring invading hordes of suicide bombers, fearful Melbournians seeking refuge from dark rampagers, union thugs, indigenous Australians, the gay and trans communities, "an over-tolerant society", dirty lefties, climate protesters, refugee advocates and rude Tweeters besmirching his reputation. RWNJs always need an enemy on whom to project their own worst instincts and Spud's marked his territory. If you're of "the other" you will be demonised. The flaw in all of this of course is that when you add up all the others you have a majority - hence, the Tories and their News Corp muck-spreaders will prosecute the culture wars to divide and conquor. Venality unites the Tories. What they cannot understand is that empathy, the fair go, the helping hand unites the rest of us and so they will fail. Big time. Cartoon. Cathy Wilcox

The boys are coming for you Suss You're disappointed Sussan? ABC News Electing Sussan Ley as party leader was a positive for the Liberal Party given she is the best talent they have. A negative for the Liberal Party is that Sussan Ley is the best talent they have. Licenced pilot, former air traffic controller, ex-punk, ex- station cook and wool and beef farmer, ex-public servant, master's degree in tax law and master of accountancy and the most senior woman in the Liberals’ 80-year history. Not bad. Until you scratch the surface. In 2001 in her first tilt at parliament Ley lost Liberal preselection for the Victorian seat of Indi to Sophie Mirabella. Fact hunt - Mirabella, the bacon fat on Gina Rinehart's chip butty, the Excretia Borgia of RWNJ politics and now (thanks to therapist and Lib AG Christian Porter) a Commissioner for life on the Fair Work Commission on $388,000 p.a . (who says Tories don't have a sense of irony?). Losing preselection to that flabulous, wedgie-in-waiting is quite the achievement, but perhaps that says more about the Liberal Party than it does about Ley. The surviving half of Dud & Suss, Ley is a member of the Lib Moderates - an oxymoron akin to 'frolicsome soccer hooligan'. As Dud's 2IC at the 2024 incineration of Tory hopes and dreams she effectively came 2nd in a loser contest. Brushing off the smell of burning Tory flesh she has re-entered the fray brandishing the same balloon on a stick - "What would Peter say? What we would he do? What examples can I draw from from his leadership of our team?" Sussan Ley addressing the LNP party faithful at their August '25 convention where the consensus was to keep digging that hole despite the lingering waft of charred Tory bodies. Anyone tempted to grant Ley some slack because she's a woman at the pointy end of a boys tree house club replete with toolies, old school witch burners, ducking stoolers, Christian Taliban and Aunt Lydias should consider her record. Ley's "I'm so disappointed" routine, (sooking and sulking and blowing snot bubbles at Albo) has been put to one side now that she's head girl* at the fuster of clucks that is the Tory front bench. However, the head tossing and the woe-begone expression of a proctologist's manicurist make an appearance whenever performative self-righteousness is called for. * Don't @ me. It's used ironically. We can put aside her numerology provided she limits it to rearranging the plants who make up her ministry - oh, wait...that's feng shui. Too many slides down the bannisters, her inner ditz kicked in when she insisted that once in office the Libs will scrap the tax cuts to low income earners, and when telling Sky News that no-one was making electric utes and saying people with $3million + Super savings are doing it tough... "Ley has a habit of pulling the pin on hand grenades then holding them until they explode." Niki Savva, journalist, author, and former senior adviser to prime minister John Howard and treasurer Peter Costello. Gaffe incontinence was a feature of wisdom suppository Tony Abbott, the shit that happened, during his thankfully short-lived regime. S'ooze is showing this wasn't an Abbott-specific tic but a feature of addled, principle-free thinking whenever the L/NP are distracted from their core mission of shovelling public money to their mates. Sussan Ley, Question Time 6 Feb 24 " Will the PM rule out any changes to the current tax treatment of neg gearing? " Sussan Ley, Sky News 7 Feb 24 " I'm not going to play the yes, this is good, no this is bad, the rule in, rule out. I'm not going to do that " Saying that the first step in Closing the Gap was to " listen to the indigenous " when her party vigorously opposed ' Yes'  in the Voice Referendum is Suss showing the boys she too has mastered the Tory go-to of rank hypocrisy. And here's a fine example of how she champions the sisterhood: “While men speak on a variety of topics, they also speak for women so I’m very comfortable with the leadership of our party.”  Suss, press conference at Parliament House, May 2022. There's lots more, but this could get tedious and she has displayed worse flaws. Miss Ley's seat of Farrer lies west of Canberra. The taxpayer funded 20+ trips to the Gold Coast where she owns an investment property. The Gold Coast is well north of Canberra. As Health Minister she charged taxpayers to attend two New Year's Eve events hosted by Sarina Russo, one of Australia's richest women courtesy of Tory crony capitalism. None of this puts Ley even close to the nastiness, comical unsuitability, loathsomeness and ugliness of her predecessors - crypt escapee Ol' Camphor Balls, followed by the wingnut in the red sluggos, through God's anointed emissary Diddley Scott and thence to Cuddly Pete. She could reasonably be considered to be vacuous but much preferable to any one of the four of them. But let us also take into account some of the darker side. All aboard the Tubermensch's dog whistled racism train - " If you do not want to see Australian women being assaulted by foreign criminals, vote against Labor. Send Labor a message ". Her own electorate has some of the highest rates of violence against women in NSW and three of the highest child sexual assault areas. Australia - no better place to raze your kids where the once Minister for the Environment showed an 18th century view of the environment as adversary where “...we just have to pick winners” - trees or tradies in a zero-sum conflict. Future generations can fuck off too -  fighting in court to prove she had no duty of care to protect young people from climate collapse while looking into ways to help mining companies bypass environmental laws. On the side of genocide, backing a foreign, mass murdering war criminal against our own PM. Netanyahu is wanted by the ICC and his regime forged Australian passports so Mossad agents could assassinate Palestinians in Dubai and murdered Australian Zomi Frankcom and six aid worker colleagues, hunting them with repeated missiles. Dismembered children's limbs being gathered up by their parents, premature infants left to die and decompose in their incubators, families burnt alive in their tents, snipers targeting children - every atrocity imaginable is not important if there's an opportunity to score political points off Albo - stating she will officially “revoke” the recognition of Palestine and insulting anti-genocide demonstrators as hideous protestors.  The icing on this perfidy cake is the insistence that Albo demean himself and hence our country by fondling the teeny weeny of the Orange Despot. You may be a strumpet Suss but your country is not. Being an awful person does not bar one from leadership of the Liberal Party. Experience has shown that it is a credential. S'oozy has been doing her best to show the boys she'd buffed her CV and is up to the job. It is not going to save her. Will they wait for the next election to take her out or will it be a pre-emptive shiv? The boys line up. Candidates and saboteurs The Meritocracy ™ . RWNJ dream candidate Jim's Rent-A-Tory Andrew Hastie, flight risk Fingers Taylor, Tim Figjam Wilson. And outsider Desperate Dan Tehan. Angus Taylor would steal the sprinkles off an orphan's fairy bread, so that box is ticked. He's also a fucking idiot - not a disqualifier (Tony Abbott anyone?) and yet despite all evidence to the contrary he thinks he's credible PM material. He'll likely pull the trigger to pre-empt Andrew Hastie, a more palatable contender, flat-earther or not. The good new is that Angus is counting his own numbers hence he'll fuck it up. Tim Wilson would go to the opening of a bowel if there was a photo op to be had. His own biggest fan boi but autofellatio is not gonna sell him to most of his cohort who prefer a more hands on style. Dan Tehan, amuse-douche. Not saying he talks shite but when they put teeth in his mouth they ruined a perfectly good arsehole. Lignocephalic ¹ Ted O'Brien? LOL! Jacinta Name-Ya Price? Puhlease. This is the Libs. She's Black, she's female, she's a dispensable, useful idiot. S'oozy - gone before April Fools Day. ¹ Lignocephalic - wooden-headed, thick. From the Medical Acronyms and Doctors' Slang Dictionary. " Retiring independent MP Tony Windsor nominated Mirabella for "the nasty prize" when asked who was the person he would miss least in politics on the ABC Insiders program. "She is the nastiest – I reckon if you put it to a vote to all politicians, she'd come up No.1 " The Border Mail Local News Tony Abbott's 10 biggest gaffes, clangers and cringeworthy moments . SMH, 11th March 2015 ($).