From merch to church
Evangelical cultists jump aboard Face Ache's pelican express
The Exclusive Brethren's Elect Vessel fills in the missing bit of One Nation's Trumpism - Jesus's endorsement
Various neo-Nazi groups, the KKK and now loons from the Exclusive Brethren support Pauline Hanson.
It's hardly surprising that the far-right niche markets of cookers, cultists and christofascists should feel an affinity with Frau Blücher—it's the same festering ecosystem that thrives under her bone-spurred hero, the catering trolley commando of Operation Tandoori Chicken:
Hansonism is the domestic manifestation of MAGA world. The Exclusive Brethren are dotting the i's. Until now, the talking snake brigade of apocalyptic, biblical literalists has been missing from the Temu Trump noodle collective that is Hanson fandom.
The Sydney Morning Herald¹ reported that Bruce Hales, the Exclusive Brethren cult's Elect Vessel—“so close to the Lord Jesus that he can feel his heartbeat”—praised the “red-haired lady” at a recent religious meeting. The Vessel™ also suggested Australia should use its uranium to “build a few bombs” to obliterate Iran. In a loving, Godly way. Of course. Nuking Iran is an option canvassed by the Ranga's witless orange idol. The connection here is how often unhinged deliriums align across the spectrum of far-right infestations.
However, Hanson has never claimed divine endorsement. Instead she worships at the altar of Mammon and at the feet of her divinities—the rapey, discoloured Grifter-In-Chief and the hula-hoop-phobic Gina 'does-my-arse-make-this-muumuu-look-big' Rinehart. Hanson laps up Big Vag's largesse but she may be a tad shy about wholeheartedly embracing Mr Vessel's blessing given the Brethren's alleged subcontracting of election interference to neo-Nazis for the benefit of the Liberal Party, as reported by the SMH²
Australia’s neo-Nazi movement declared it would back One Nation’s path to government if the High Court overturns a ban on its new White Australia Party. Ersatzfrankenspanker Thomas Sewell bumptiously announced his intention to “assist the creation of a Pauline Hanson prime ministership": "Our purpose would be to support One Nation in forming government.”
In the first episode of a 2026 current affairs series 'Trump's America' presented by 9News, Ku Klux Klan Grand Wizard Thomas Robb volunteered praise for Hanson and her anti-immigration and anti-multiculturalism stances, explaining that her political platform aligns closely with the KKK's views on "white awareness".³ Hanson played her dog-eared victim card when confronted by the reality of her fellow travellers. She called the KKK segment "grubby journalism" and said any suggestion that they share a common ideology was "absurd and offensive". This came after she had linked Anthony Albanese to Hamas.
Hanson may publicly decry the fringe nasties who accumulate around her—they're flies attracted to the turd, but what she cannot deny is that they recognise the compatibility of their egregious zealotry with hers. She's as much defined by these aberrant fanatics as she is by her rabid devotion to one of the most comprehensively loathsome characters in all of history. All polls show Trump's allure rapidly fading, our polls show Hanson's popularity rising. We're always a step or two behind the Americans. They've awoken to the consequences of dictatorial, corrupt incompetence. Made-in-China merch and god-bothering cheer squads won't help the bitter old bag Hanson trash Oz the way Trump has trashed the USA.
Michael Bachelard and Sherryn Groch, SMH 22 September, 2026 ($)
² ‘Tail, film, heckle’: Inside the Brethren’s secret election influence plot with the far-right. Michael Bachelard and Sherryn Groch, SMH 22 September, 2026 ($)
"Leaked messages reveal the full story of how the Exclusive Brethren secretly recruited neo-Nazi associates to harass MPs at the election. As the church denies it, one elder confirms his involvement."
³ Trump’s America: The Divided States - a four-part documentary series produced by 9News
God, Christ, man, woman: The ‘divine order’ that defines life for Exclusive Brethren women. SMH 7 September 2025. ($)
"The unspoken belief among the Brethren, she says, is that nothing a woman could say is important enough to be heard in church...the wealthy, the powerful and the “priestly” sit in the front rows of the assembly"
“We’re closer to it [the Rapture], I think, than we realise ... it’s not distant ... there’s not much time left.”
Bruce Hales, Picton, NSW, April 6, 2025
Hi Grumpy
I love your work. Your mastery of the Australian language and the rich use of puns is something to behold, and what you are actually say, the points which you make, are glaringly true.
Being anointed by the Brethren is something any intelligent person would hope to avoid.😀
Great piece, again.
I admit to being a senior. So I hope this gives me some perspective and context when making observations. Are we living through the worst of times? This time last century “we” were in the middle of a catastrophic cycle of war depression war. With Trump over there, Hanson here and RWNJs making progress around the globe, it’s all a bit hellish. Oh well to quote Mr Johnston of The Gentlemen, when you’re going through hell, keep going.
Thanks for the smiles GG.
Another insightful series of observations. Cutting not just because of the true wit in the language use, but because they are true. (PS "chicken ducks out of Turkey". It doesn't stop! You couldn't fit 'goose' into that?)