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From whinging, whining and blowing snot bubbles to playing to the Klueless Klutz Klan. From objet d'ridicule to vile scrubber. The Lib's number two. "The real competition now is to see who is a bigger drag on the Liberal vote, Dutton or Ley. Either way it’s a race to the bottom." Dee Madigan The Tory capacity for feculence knows no boundaries. There are no dogs unwhistleable, no sewers untrawlable, there are no hypocrisies too breathtaking nor any lie too blatant in their campaign to re-establish their 'rightful' access to the national treasure to then divert to their mates - as is their entire raison d'etre. There is no outrage that they won't countenance. Do not doubt, say, that they carefully watch Benedict Orange and wonder admiringly how much of his behaviour they could get away with here. “Drugs, criminals, gang members and terrorists are pouring into our country at record levels. We’ve never seen anything like it. They’re taking over our cities.” Tangerine man and career criminal Rapey McScumbag Time to up the ante on John Howard's Tampa and children overboard subterfuges. Step forward Sussan Lley: “If you live in Frankston and you’ve got a problem with Victorian women being assaulted by foreign criminals, vote against Labor. “If you do not want to see Australian women being assaulted by foreign criminals, vote against Labor. Send Labor a message.” Suss's tweet on the Dunkley byelection But let's start on a positive note. Suss has some worthwhile attributes. As a qualified accountant she can do sums - adding up and taking away; a skill set that could prove handy in any future party room test of fealty, eh Spud Scott Morrison ? Some say she can also read joined-up running writing and that, as a pilot, she has the unique talent in the Tory sunshine bus of well-developed hand/eye coordination. That's it, that's all I've got on the + side. Suss's feigned outrage is one of the Tories' go-to-market strategies. If only she was a better actor. Her aesthetic of prolapsed whoopee cushion with duck face is a manifestation of the realisation of disappointed expectations that would otherwise be shown by someone who hands out the towels at a Fyshwick rub 'n' tug. Suss comes fully armed with a lengthy whine list that seeds a suspicion that she pickles her own vag, denying the reality of her active membership of the most delinquent, corrupt and incompetent government in our history. The Tories obviously believe that their constant whining handfeeds the lazy and vacuous hordes of flacks who dominate our complicit media, the Lib's humbug and hypocrisy usually going unremarked upon. " Flooding the zone with shit " as Steve Bannon, one of their admired models of democratic integrity, has championed. This humbug and hypocrisy is an area where Suss has demonstrated some particular talent, joining the pile-on of Anthony Albanese for his (shock, horror) travel as Prime Minister of a whole, actual country when she has taken 27 flights in and out of the Gold Coast over recent years where her partner owned a bin-cleaning business (some sort of metaphysical connection surely). 2 minor details - the Gold Cost is about 270 ° and 1,400 kms off course from the travel between her electorate and Canberra. All done within the rules of course. Her boss's view of folks who don't match the colours on his chart of acceptable tinges is hardly hidden. The Thug walked out on the apology to the stolen generation, he orchestrated a duplicitous campaign against The Voice, he figuratively poked refugee kiddies with pointed sticks, warned of African gangs and deployed black-uniformed goons to patrol Melbourne streets to quizz the dusky-toned. And our consonant abuser Suss is a proven Spuddist - during the 2018 Liberal leadership spills she voted for Dutton against Trumble in the first vote and again voted for Herr Shickltuber against Diddley Scott in the second spill days later. Add 'fascist adjacent race baiter' to her CV. In 2001 Suss lost Tory preselection for the Victorian seat of Indi to the truly horrendous Sophie Mirabella. On a scale from 'mildly disgusting' to Peter Dutton, Sussan Lley is now a Pauline Hanson; the Tories' very own version of the red dipstick. Is that how she rose from Indi reject to her current status as number 2? Because she's proven to be worse than Mirabella? Spud and Suss. Bubba and Squeak. The crème de la crims of the Tory Party. FMD! ***** A random sampling of Suss's greatest hits What have the koalas ever done for us? Ley successfully appealed a Federal Court ruling that she had a "duty of care to children to consider climate change harm when approving coal mines". She approved a Coalition decision to scrap 176 out of 185 recovery plans designed to prevent the extinction of threatened species and habitats, including the Tasmanian devil. With 1600 threatened species she claims... we will destroy their habitat for jobs so “we just have to pick winners” Hiding a document that was handed to the coalition government in December 2021, ahead of the 2022 Australian federal election. The document outlined the poor and declining health of the Australian ecosystem. She voted consistently against: Ending illegal logging, Federal government action on animal & plant extinctions, Increasing marine conservation, Increasing protection of Australia's fresh water, The Paris Climate Agreement. She approved the clearing of 52hectares of koala habitat for a quarry. She identifies as a feminist. "While men speak on a variety of topics, they also speak for women so I’m very comfortable with the leadership of our party." She has also promised to travel widely throughout Australia to listen to women. Noting her pile-on of PM Albo's travel. Moron says what now? "We know we're not going to have electric vehicles tomorrow," Ms Ley said. "And no one in the world is making an electric ute, by the way, and even if they were it would be unaffordable." Sussan Ley, Question Time 6 Feb 24 " Will the PM rule out any changes to the current tax treatment of neg gearing? " Sussan Ley, Sky News 7 Feb 24 " I'm not going to play the yes, this is good, no this is bad, the rule in, rule out. I'm not going to do that. " 'A bit rich': Laura Jayes questions Sussan Ley over Anthony Albanese travel criticism as Liberals head to conference . Sky News Multimillionaire Sarina Russo hosted Sussan Ley at New Year's Eve parties. The Guardian Ley twice travelled at taxpayer expense to the Gold Coast to attend events with Sarina Russo, one of Australia’s richest women, whose companies won multimillion dollar contracts under the Abbott government.

Herr Kipfler, the dismal Dutton, will not be denied Gif: gfy.com Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there! He wasn't there again today, Oh how I wish he'd go away! When I came home last night at three, The man was waiting there for me But when I looked around the hall, I couldn't see him there at all! Go away, go away, don't you come back any more! Go away, go away, and please don't slam the door... Last night I saw upon the stair, A little man who wasn't there, He wasn't there again today Oh, how I wish he'd go away... William Hughes Mearns He's still there Scotty, standing right behind you; those vacant, hooded eyes in that cadaverous countenance are studying your shoulder blades. You'll feel his fetid breath quicken and sense his arousal as he imagines plunging the shiv. The Prince Of Darkness, in the form of a potato, is getting tetchy. Herr Kipfler, the dismal Dutton, will not be denied his ultimate prize - the triumph of the dark forces of uniformed goons and hoodlums of his Gestapotato as the absolute political authority with himself as Ubermensch. Not satisfied with effectively being Skidmark Morrison's number 2 he desperately wants to take his place on the throne*. *S orry, but the poo jokes are too tempting - Skiddy's early release of a chocolate hostage in Engadine Maccers is just so emblematic of his political style - "I'll just drop this here and move along". And, who knew... his contrived daggy dad routine had literal origins. Spud-Dutton, the dark lord, is plotting and scheming; testing the mettle of Skiddy the great pretender by publicly opining on subjects that are still, as yet, outside of the broad-reaching netherworld that he'd built for himself when Trembles Turnbull as PM meekly surrendered his balls to the dark side. Spud on China Spud is not the ripest legume from the Lib's veggie patch; he's a man who thinks the Terracotta Army are soccer supporters from the small Balkans country of Terra Cotia, so when calling out the Chinese in Skiddy's absence there was no thought given beyond poking the dragon for effect - geeing up the winged monkeys of the lunar right by flashing his tough guy credentials to garner commitment to his evolving coup, and daring Skiddy to call him out - anything less demonstrates that Morrison is weak and vulnerable. The crusty-trousered clown from The Shire may have been the winner from the Liberal's last season of Survivor but his aberrant dedication to trickle-down theocracy, the painting of his farts as rainbows and his arrogant avoidance of accountability will make for a bad look as the next election draws closer and the dupes start to reach for the smirk removal cream. Surely though the feculence that is Dutton is beyond the pale, even for the Nasties? Howard was abhorrent, Abbott was ludicrous, Morrison is appalling and yet all three were embraced by the lead paint lickers who now dominate their party. Consider a random sample of the trough snorkellers who will be called upon to back the uber tuber - those grifters and gleaners who're swamping the drain: Count Yorga impersonator Kevin Andrews  - who, upon emerging from his crypt and opening an umbrella has people thinking he's turning into a bat.   Grecian 2000 poisoning had Kev fancying himself as PM material at one time but his inability to form an image in a mirror or cast a shadow spooks the punters.   Kev could boost Spud's appeal to the hordes of undead - those wrinkled masses of "where's my franking credits" fogies who would sell their grandchildren's future for a discount coupon at the bingo. Eric Fabio Abetz  has given up on his dreams of invading Poland, stripped to the waist on a panzer turret with blonde Aryan locks streaming in the wind as he rushes towards Warsaw. These days Fabio is holed up in Hobart managing his real estate portfolio, peeling oranges in his pocket to avoid sharing and licking his Tony Abbott bicycle seat collection.   The promise of a promotion to Reichsinspekteur of Tasmania could see Fabio endorsing Spud's pending night of the long knives.   James Paterson.  Monty Burns' love child, little Jimmy yearns for the day when he can grow a toothbrush moustache on his upper lip rather than having to train his emergent pubes into a fuzzy replica.   James would make an excellent apprentice for Spud, striding along the razor wire in black uniform poking the Newstart queues with his riding crop while fondling his sidearm.   This smarmy arse-dandruff is the future of the Nasties? Michaelia Cash , with alsatian at her side, snarling and foaming at the mouth (her, not the dog) hauling unionists from their beds, boiling bunnies and foreclosing on orphanages is a nightmare in a trouser suit.   I've seen more attractive heads hanging out of a poacher's pocket. This dunking stool passenger is ugly inside and out and hence an ideal candidate for Spud's front bench. Anne Ruston.  Equipped with a face like a kelpie's chew toy, a fully functional FMD chromosome and delusions of adequacy, Ruston is yet another bible-toting myopic moron from the Nasty Party book-burners' club.   This scatologist's specimen is one more six-fingered bandit who, on $200,000 p.a. + grift, thinks that $40 per day of Newstart is a disincentive to finding work. Ruston would be right at home in a filth-filled, fly-blown garbage skip i.e. any possible Dutton government. These are but a very few random examples of those who could back Dutton, Beelzebub in potato form, to deliver another spill. Morrison's new threshold for a leadership change requires two-thirds of the partyroom vote to trigger a spill motion, which is a difficult hurdle for Spud to overcome particularly given his Wile E. Coyote-level logistical skills. However, despite Skiddy Morrison's pretence that the Nasties are a "united team" they remain a tumult of hatreds, unfulfilled vendettas, venality and ugly ambition. Skiddy's daggy dad contrivance is devolving into a bogan-in-Bali national embarassment, Labor is finally starting to show some mongrel by targeting his weak spots (some may say wet spots) and Morrison's notionless floundering on any and all issues is becoming too obvious to ignore. The real intrigue however is what Dutton's pet spooks may have to use on Morrison and how Dutton may play those cards. Red Gladys, Chinese Communist Party enthusiast, Liberal member for Chisholm and ASIO person of interest. Prolific fund raiser and poster child of the Chinese Communist Party, Gladys Liu is skilled in the art of hiding in plain sight. With the Lib's habit of looking the other way when large donations are involved she could've rolled up to her preselection in a Chinese tank, the pulped entrails of Tianamen protestors congealed in its tracks, a burning Tibetan flag flapping and a cock & balls drawn on her forehead in day-glo lipstick and the Lib's would've just made sure the cash was banked before validating her parking. The Libs left it to Gladys to investigate herself on allegations she's a Chinese government agent of influence and to no-one's surprise she's returned a verdict of not guilty. But Spud's spook pals will have the full skinny on Glad - some leverage for her vote for a spill perhaps? Brian Houston, Jesus-R-Us CEO, entrepeneur, financial planner and Skidmark's BFF After airing the TV pilot of ScoMo Does Jesus At Horizon Church & Audi Showroom our proselytizing Prime Minister seems to have cooled on that particular maketing initiative, getting surly and evasive when his best bud Brian from Hillsong is mentioned in context of Scotty and Brian's excellent adventure to Trumpworld . Dutton knows that Morrison's bizarre brand of Jesusing and his default to prayer as a viable option for addressing climate change is a troubling dimension to his character. I'm willing to bet that as environmental crises and public discontent builds that Dutton will ramp up the demonising of protestors and dissident oganisations as a dog-whistle to the Nasty's hardcore climate trogolodytes - man of action vs Morrison's prayerful phaffing. Burned Spy. This is pure gold. QAnon is a right-wing conspiracy fantasy - QAnon's central premise is that Donald Trump is secretly working to take down a global ring of elite, cannibalistic, satanic pedophiles.1 QAnon is listed on the FBI Domestic Terrorism Watch List and has been associated with 8chan, where many members discussed and celebrated the mass shootings in Texas and in Christchurch. "One of the bigger QAnon followers in Australia tweets under the handle @BurnedSpy34. He has over 21,000 Twitter followers and tweets QAnon-related thoughts and memes, plus original posts about consciousness. Like many QAnon followers, his political theories are bizarre, sometimes veering into sheer fantasy." Newsweek @BurnedSpy34 is close family friend of Morrison's and his wife works on the PM's staff. You can bet your left bollock that Spud has mined all the info he can on this guy and will have this prepared as a potential coup de gras for his godly nemisis Scotty. Dutton won't want to stand idle as we get closer to another election and his prospect of multiple terms in opposition. He'll be getting antsy and Morrison will be getting nervous. If you think Morrison is an appallingly incompetent and dodgy PM you'd be right - but should the satanic potato succeed we'll be truly on a highway to hell. 1 QAnon- RationalWiki.com 8chan has infiltrated the government - friendlyjordies This article is re-posted on the Australian Independent Media Network

New England recaptures the title of Dope Capital of Australia Image: Twitter Barking Barmy Joyce, our most celebrated family man, has resumed his role as the nation's Number 2. Having a bloviating prosperity cultist who consults eagle paintings for career advice and a habitually pickled alleged sex pest in the top two positions in the country is quite the achievement even for a nation that has sleepwalked through eight years of the Lying Nasty Party's malignant kakocracy. Deputy PM Mickey McWhatsisname rose from obscurity to become one of the most unrecognised names in politics. He's a man so soporific that migrating birds fall from the sky whenever he speaks. He has the substance of a chalk outline and is now reluctantly returning to his previous role as idiot at large - monitoring exploding cow pats and burning effigies of inner-city, latte-sipping greenie-lefties. Barking Barmy Joyce has resumed the position of leading the ignorance pride parade that is the National Party, the fossil fuel-obsessed creationists who don't believe in fossils. Image: Facebook It seems that the Nats have decided that exploiting the credulous rubes who love a "character" requires more than just dressing as Elvis. And regional Australia does love its outsiders - how else to explain the incoherent Bob The Mad Katter, One Nation's homunculus and " living soul " Malcolm Roberts (a diminutive Screwloose Lautrec) and Buoy George Christensen the floating member for Manila. So, time to embrace the National's ethos of back to the future and resurrect a bloke whose red kneck joins up at the front - the florid fornicator from New England; Barking Barmy Joyce. Barmy is the answer to questions no one seems to have asked. Do dinosaurs still roam the earth? Who's been plucking Gina Rinehart's chin hairs? Do the ladies' lavs in Tamworth pubs have panic rooms? Barmy lost some skin (and some teeth) when, while maintaining his focus on the bush, his girlfriend's IUD blew up in his face. But you can't keep a cheap drunk down. While he still thinks Wi-Fi is the plural of wife and that gay marriage will damage our cattle exports he's back, promising that his rortin' rootin' days are behind him, updating his register of extra-marital interests and announcing his newly discovered humility via text ($600k expense claim pending). Barmy is no outlier in the Nats. Despite qualms about his hands-on style from the wimmin in the Party one of Barmy's most enthusiastic supporters and a representative sample of the lead paint lickers is Matt Coalface Canavan of the Man-Coal Love Association. For Matty every paddock, every orchard, every vineyard and every endangered habitat is a coal mine awaiting a government subsidy. Matty's future-focused business acumen - along the lines of a Canavan Saddlery and VCR Rentals franchise, is built on the concept of maximising tax payer inputs to dud investments for familial benefit in the Angus Squizzy Taylor tradition. Matty's support is incidental to his brother's investment in a busted-arse coal mine. Joyce and Scooter Morrison should be quite a team despite the fact they despise each other. Joyce the great testiculator waving his arms about and talking bollocks, his puce-faced ranting complementing FauxMo's end-times dogma - the apoplectic and the apocalyptic working together for a shared vision of Australia as a scarred landscape of massive holes in the ground, dry rivers, poisoned acquifers, collapsed eco-systems and dead coral reefs but on the plus side a healthy stream of donations from the eco-vandals of the mining lobby and the water thieves from big agriculture. Barmy himself may well say " I'm no Albert Weinstein ", confusing the iconic genius with the Hollywood sexual predator and zimmer frame test pilot, thereby both proving the point and rekindlng memories of his past proclivities. He's declared that after two years in back-bench penury he's a changed man who does not intend to rejoin his fellow Pepé Le Pew Club members Porter, Tudge and Lamming trawling Canberra's nightspots looking for knee tremblers behind the coat racks. His new crusade is to fuck the country not his staff. 'I didn't sleep for a week': Catherine Marriott speaks out about alleged sexual harassment by Barnaby Joyce . ABC Barnaby Joyce spent $675,000 in expenses but less than three weeks on ground while drought envoy. The Guardian. Barnaby Joyce signed off $80m for Angus Taylor’s old company after zero was paid for same sort of water nearby . Michael West Media. An outline of #AngusGates - Yumpu.com Matt Canavan's family obsession with coal . The AFR.

The rustic oiks bent Scooter over a pork barrel Cartoon - Alan Moir The Bastard From The Bush - selected extracts So they took him to their hide-out, that Bastard from the Bush, And they gave him all the privileges belonging to the Push; But soon they found his little ways were more than they could stand, And finally the Captain thus addressed his little band: “Now listen here you buggers, we’ve caught a f'ing tartar; At every kind of bludgin’ that bastard’s got the starter, At poker and at two-up he shook our f'ing rules, He swipes our f'ing liquor and he knobs our f'ing girls.” They sprang upon him in a bunch, but one by one they fell, With crack of bone, unearthly groan and agonizing yell, Till the sorely battered Captain, spitting teeth and coughing blood, Held an ear all torn and bleeding in a hand bedaubed with mud. “You low polluted bastard,” snarled the Captain of the Push, “Get back to where you come from, that’s somewhere in the bush, And I hope that vile misfortune may tumble down on you, May some lousy harlot dose you, till your bollocks turn sky blue. Attributed by some to Henry Lawson ' Nice re-election campaign you're planning. Shame if anything happened to it ' said the Bastard from the Bush. With a head made from a long-abandoned jack-o'-lantern, teeth like leper's toes and the breath of a brewhouse spitoon the florid fornicator's threats to shoot himself in the head carried a tone of crazed believability. Captain Scooter caved. After all it was just the extortion of billions more of other people's money - National Party tradition and Liberal Party habit. An easy price to pay for a veneer of coalition unity. The great carbon con was agreed - taxpayers would fund more carbon, energy inefficiency and obsolescence and it'd be sold back to them as rainbows while Scooter printed the brochures to hand out at his stall at COP26. The 'hic' from the sticks Barking Barmy Joyce struggles to keep under .05 - net zero is a concept that defeats his limited capacities. The economic, environmental and social opportunities of clean energy are beyond the sales skills of the country's "best retail politician". But pork and grift speak to Barmy, the spin could be finessed by more gifted charlatans while he and his fellow Nat trogs performed for their climate criminal sponsors and donors. Selling the past as the future has fallen to a select few within Barmy's circle jerk: Gorgeous George Christensen is a big-talking nobody, yet with a wide profile to maintain - hence the intake of pies, cream buns and conspiracy theories. George's CV has every RWNJ grievance and fringe lunacy that he plans to develop for his pending post-politics career as Australia's Alex Jones . George expects to convert his voter niche of toolies, roadside dumpers and persons-of-interest into subscribers to his web site . Climate denial is easy clicks for Gorgeous for that time when freed from scrutiny he can fund a revisit to Manila to redeem his unused frequent perver points. Gorgeous's weightloss regime of a shit and a haircut has not paid off but one benefit of retaining his panoramic profile is that he's eligible for the 2-for-1 full English breakfast at Tiffany's Titty Bar & Grill in Angeles City. I'm looking forward to his reviews being posted. In contrast George's spindly chum Matt King Coal Canavan is all prick and toenails. He could pass for George's left-overs. He's a Mr Squiggle look-alike in blackface whose shtick is suckering enough of his constituency into believing that he's on the tools so that he can keep his shiny bum planted on air-conditioned parliamentary senate leather. Matty's a man of convictions: Matt Canavan: "Where I'm from there's not a lot of roads or airports." Narrator: He was born on the Gold Coast and grew up in Brisbane. His white collar office is located in the city of Rockhampton. Rockhampton Airport is a major Australian airport with flights to Brisbane, Mackay, Townsville and Cairns and transports approximately 580,000 passengers each year. Matt Canavan: " Once you tell people this will cost $500 a year, support for net zero drops off ." Also Matt Canavan: " If we have to hike your mortgage repayments because banks won't lend to coal projects, that's a price I'm willing for you to pay. " His physical presence reminds me of Michelangelo's statue of David - if you chipped away the marble and just left the dick. Shotgun Bridget McKenzie is the pin-up girl for sex nannas and would-be school shooters. Her particular brand of smarm may be the product of her role as chair of the Parliamentary Friends of Shooting (that's a real thing) and her award of Ivan Milat Achiever Of The Year (that's not). Her vibe is 'don't cross the Bridget' mixed with sweaty inflatable girlfriend. Her rationale for supporting the end of a habitable planet is likely just 'cos I can' ego wanking. Contributing to the log jam in the gerbil maze that passes for coherence in the National Party is Keith 'Cec' Pitt whose grasp of economics is not so much Friedrich Hayek as John Frum. Cec's input to the list of demands was $250B of taxpayers' monies to invest in rustic carbon-generating boondoggles that even the corporate spiv mates avoided like an invite to Bridget's hymen restoration. Striving for ordinariness and failing to achieve even that modest goal¹ - 'who is Keith Pitt' you may ask. Fair enough - his most lasting impression was when he faceplanted into a snow drift. ¹I c an't attribute that wonderful quote as I can't find who came up with it. " Can I say to the honourable member, find me a solar panel that works in the dark. " - wait til he finds out that EVs can run at night, that windfarms don't slow the rotation of the earth, or that guacamole is not a country in Central America. A measure of Barking Barmy's genius is that included in his list of demands was the return of Cec to cabinet - the very role that Barking fired him from just 4 months earlier. Please form an orderly queue to bang your head in the nearest door. Watching Barking at a presser is a lesson in platinum grade self-delusion. He fronts the media with his hands clasped over his paunch, spouting yokel homilies and reciting the names of country towns he's managed to memorise like a puce Geoff Mack rendition of I've Been Everywhere and showing off his greatest feat of self-discipline by not vomiting on his shoes while the cameras are rolling. Barking is Gina Rinehart's biggest deposit. The occupant of the second highest office in the land is serving as the coal and gas industries' gofer. Barmy will deride the science from the back of a ute, dressed as a haybail and shouting at clouds to play to his constituency of Kickatinalong town mayors, clay pigeon shooters, PornHub bingers and water thieves. While Scooter is in Glasgow avoiding Emmanuel Macron and pimping his pamphlets this disturbed souser will be acting Prime Minister. "These academics have got to bugger off." David Littleproud, nominative determinist and Nat's deputy Matt Canavan’s mining cosplay and Twitter trolling are setting him up for reelection. Crikey The man with a ‘Plan’. Listening to Morrison describe his net-zero “plan” was a deeply unsettling experience . Crikey The Nationals’ climate position has become symbolic posturing and no longer represents Australian farmers. The Guardian By George! The controversies of an Australian government MP . ABC George Christensen is launching a ‘patriotic’ news website modelled on the Drudge Report . The New Daily

Who needs a truncheon when you've got expensive lawyers? Image derived from AAP photo Adolf Kipfler, das Gruppenfritter, Herr Shickltuber, the Gestapotato, Dick Tater, Spudley Too-Right, Dutton dressed as yam, J. Edgar Tuber - these are all droll mockings of a rabid autocrat and all-round nasty piece of work whose head has an unfortunate resemblance to a popular starchy staple. At least while satire is still legal such sledging is beyond the reach of Spud's defamation lawyer, the splendidly n amed Nick Ferrett , a tag that no clever pun could improve upon . Führer-flavoured name calling, potato-themed as it may be, introduces the principle referred to as Godwin's law that asserts when a Hitler comparison is made, whoever made the comparison loses whatever debate is in progress. Godwin clarified that " its purpose has always been rhetorical and pedagogical: I wanted folks who glibly compared someone else to Hitler to think a bit harder about the Holocaust ". Fair call. After all, Spud as Minister for Immigration & Refugee Degradation had merely adopted an apathetic approach to the slow mental torment of his konzentrationslager internees. Nazi potato analogies included, l ampooning politicians is everyone's right in a free country and it's been a long tradition in this one. When an indolent, flailing government reeking of corruption seeks all potential means to hide its incompetence and protect its criminality then scorn and ridicule become obligations. But this bin juice distillery t/a the Morrsion-Joyce grift shop gets beyond tetchy when their many shortcomings are pointed out. The 'champions of free speech' toss that concept onto their disposable principles binfire along with accountability, integrity, equality and other troublesome inconveniences. A recent taste of their discomfort with challenges to their decency is from the Spud himself with a thinly disguised threat to "dirty lefties" . Spud has accumulated an impressive property portfolio and is the Minister for Defence - he's a member of the wealthy power elite, a big cheese, the Potato au Gratin of the L/NP. In contrast Shane Bazzi is an obscure, arse-out-of-his-trousers refugee advocate. It turns out the Tubernator, a man whose idea of foreplay is to lock his pitbull in the wardrobe, has a sensitive side, taking offence from a Bazzi tweet calling him a rape apologist. A wise man would've let it go - to let it be lost in the noise of general social media heckling at a corrupted regime. Not the Spud. He invoked the Streisand Effect by persecuting Bazzi via a defamation suit thereby drawing attention anew to his " he-said-she-said " shrug at the in-house rape of a Lib staffer and the Tories' general indifference to bullying, harrassment and sexual assault. The $35k in awarded damages would barely cover Spud's head waxing bill - but, never get between a Tory and a dollar. Perhaps though it was his hurt feelings? Yeah but nah; the empathy deficit is strong in this one who could never be happier than when he's pureeing kittens in his Kitchen Wizz. Feelings are weaknesses to be exploited. One of those feelings is people's attachment to their house, and lawyered-up, paranoid grifters and predators on the government benches are catching on - Dutton's message to the proles is 'shut up or you'll be out on the street'. Scooter Morrison, possibly re-energised by the law suits from Spud, Laming and Barilaro has once more trotted out his cynical and routine attack on social media. “Social media can too often be a cowards’ palace where the anonymous can bully, harass and ruin lives without consequence.” Sounds reasonable. But the Tories harbour their own trolls, sockpuppets, social media stalkers and backgrounders and feigned indignation is a Scooter specialty, wrapped in hypocrisy, tied with a bow of shameless fabrications and delivered in a hectoring tone of dissembling twaddle. His genuine indignation is reserved for being challenged or held to account. Every utterance from this charlatan is misleading, obfuscating or blatant lying; every announcement is calculated from the perspective of political advantage - policing people's social media is a handy distraction from their panicked avoidance of an integrity commission. Social media users commonly have genuine reasons for anonymity including safety from the bullies and harassers Scooter pretends to be so offended by. Given the Tories' disdain for scrutiny and intolerance of dissent it's not a huge leap to suspect that anti-troll legislation is intended to be a trojan horse for regulations designed to silence critics through libel proceedings. Average Australians could not afford to sue for defamation and any potential costs awarded would be swallowed by legal fees. Rather, the Tories' ambitions will help the powerful to silence critics or to retaliate should that fail. Spud even had the front to suggest a fund from tax payers be established to cover the legal costs of the pursuit of their adversaries because even rich guys need our money to pay expensive silks to sue us and to intimidate inquisitive journalists. First they came for the ABC. Then they came for journalists and whistleblowers. Now they're coming for the tweeters. * * * * * None of this is meant to imply that Spud is an actual Nazi or a sympathiser of the Stasi, Oprichnina, Geheime Staatspolizei, NKVD, DINA, the Bureau for the Repression of Communist Activities or any other secret police organisation or goon squad for any repressive regime whatsoever. His resemblance to a versatile root vegetable is however indisputable. Image: Twitter Peter Dutton wins defamation case against refugee activist Shane Bazzi over tweet. The Guardian An epic troll . Rachel Withers, The Monthly.

The rehabilitation of Spudkins Dutton Image: A Twitterati clever clogs In 1977 Jerry Hall, super model, cover girl and actor ditched the suave Roxy Musician Bryan Ferry for a richer but daggier Mick Jagger. Fast forward many years and Jerry decided to broaden her palate and further stress test her gag reflex by buffing the kransky of Rupert Murdoch - events I have no desire to imagine but it could be somewhat akin to spooning a bag of wet sick. And, this will be coincidental, Rupe has a 22 year head start on Mick to the reading of the will. Now after six stoic years of an uninterrupted 'near death' experience Jerry's patience with the scrotum-headed old fossil's Keith Richards Syndrome has come to its end - she has pulled the plug on the Dirty Digger. Not, unfortunately, that plug - the fucker's still alive. To paraphrase a Ricky Gervais joke, Jerry complained " He may be the world's most amoral, opportunistic grifter and a threat to democracy but he lied about his age. He told me he was 104. " Speculation has now mounted, like a honeymooning gold digger on a nonagenarian's face, about whether Jerry gets ownership of the Liberal Party via the divorce settlement. That's doubtful given Rupie gets off on his agitprop with its sycophantic News tabloid editors, obsequious Sky opinionista and chesty blonde Fox conspiracy spruikers and, especially, his favourite thing - ownership of presidents and prime ministers. There's no evidence Jerry has a direct interest in undermining democratic ideals so likely she will happily leave that to be inherited by the Rupster's dodgy spawn once the wrinkled old fuck finally departs our by then polar ice-free earthly realm. Following the May electoral defenestration of his L/NP subsidiary Rupert's pamphleteers, bin rummagers and phone hackers are working their way through the grief cycle from shock to denial, anger, sabotage and bastardry. Key to this process is how they re-package their product and its brand ambassador - a bloke with the head and attitude of a copper's truncheon. Introducing Cuddly Pete, a to be re-modelled tubermensch, that shiny-domed lockless monster ersatzgruppenfritter Spud Dutton who as minister for refugee abuse, when not using kittens to play fetch with an alsation, had his dark-uniformed Gestapotato harass dusky-toned citizens on the streets of Melbourne, treated two little Biloelan girls as dangers to national security and sued an impoverished tweeter for hurt feelings. The success of Rupert's exercise in spraying cologne on a chum bucket is yet to be proven but it is off to a bad start. Leave aside for the moment that Spud , sorry...Cuddles, is a 20 metre swimmer in a 50 metre pool who thinks shit takes are Japanese mushrooms and feng shui is a Chinese tennis player - in his first press conference as Lib leader Spudley Too-right said " I want to give you this assurance, we've heard loud and clear from the ( partisanship-weary ) Australian public " to be qualified a short time later with " Our job is to make things difficult for the Government "...so, lessons learnt, eh? Back to an obstructionist, Abbottesque future where after only three weeks Cuddles' troops are laying the blame for nine years of Tory corruption, incompetence and wreckage at Labor's feet. Cuddly Pete thinks the times will suit him, that the blow-back of the disasterous Tory experiment will reflect poorly on Labor's attempts to restore our national integrity, dignity and functionality - an endeavour that will be enthusiastically supported by Murdoch's flunkies. No doubt Rupert will still be around in three years to see if his investment comes good. Jerry most likely won't give a fuck.

When too much RWFWittery is not enough “ I have a leadership style which I believe they appreciate, which is why people very strongly are expressing their support to me.” Mr 25%, Spud Dutton. “ There go my people. I must find out where they are going so I can lead them ." Alexandre Auguste Ledru-Rollin. I'm not sure why this came to mind. How to succinctly describe Australia's worst ever Prime Minister? A miasma, an effluvium, a whiff of eau de low tide...a funk that clings to clothes and hair long after his departure? The unlamented ScoMo's ™ awfulness was so all-encompassing that no one pejorative was sufficient to capture the spectrum of his deficiencies. Scotty From Marketing, Scummo, Smirk & Mirrors, Scooter, Sooty, Skiddy, Liar from the Shire, Diddley Scott, the Great Schmo, Scurry, Shirko and more were all wryly derived from his own facile marketing contrivance and thrown back in his face as a " no way, get fucked, fuck off " chorus from the sentients in the crowd. Phone in hand as he scrolls through Seek while languishing on a nose-bleed seat on the backbenches, his calls going unreturned, he'll be struggling to reconcile his current status of unburied landfill with his self-image as God's emissary. But really, who gives a fuck? Now he's nothing more than a phantasm representing Tory decline into neo-fascist bigotry and wretchedness; a benchmark for whether they can go subterranean in their search for the ultimate in nasty. Turns out Scooter was no outlier, he was a symptom. Enter Bubba and Squeak - a lumpen tuber with the head and attitude of a copper's truncheon with the befuddled Suss as the Lib's no.2 slot showcasing her sad loser pique, her misplaced ambition and a lack of self-awareness that, in comparison, promotes Liz Truss to an icon of perspicacity. "Conservative, Dutton-supporting MPs said that Ley had been taking soundings from the backbench for weeks, but they rubbished the prospect of the Liberal moderate becoming the party’s leader." James Massola, The Age. 31/3/23 If you're the Tories' Leader Of The Opposition yet also Labor's best weapon, when your own party hides you away from electors in favour of defrosting the cadaverous John Winston Howard to waddle the streets quacking at startled passers-by, when you're a hard-right head-kicker in a party abandoned by once conservative, heirloom electorates as the entire country rejects your antediluvian, divisive manifesto then a prudent politician would indulge in some considered introspection. Such sissy reflections are not for our potato-headed hard man Herr Shickltuber - he's doubling down on the nasty ("I yam what I yam"). Spud has marked his territory - Abbottesque blanket negativity, culture wars, fear and division, accusing opponents of that for which they themselves are guilty and that old Tory favourite of nurturing resentment by demonising those least able to fight back - cultivating suspicion of the gay folks, blatant transphobia and not so much dog-whistling their racism as broadcasting it by loudspeaker from the back of a truck. People in outer suburban areas were “very worked up” about trans rights claims Spud, the Libs lost Aston because Labor was mean to them, there’s no need for him or the Coalition to change their brand, they just have to wait for electors to come to their senses. All very amusing given that in a party of roadside dumpers, shrunken intellects , onanists, P76ers, pelvic thrusters, doggers, Trumpers, pimps, Nut Bush lip synchers and shout absconders he's the best the unelectable Tories have to offer. What is not amusing is Spud's response to the proposed referendum for an Indigenous Voice To Parliament. Just as Donald Trump gave permission for the worst of American society to be open and proud about how stupid and ugly they really were Spud's "No" campaign has given permission for the racists to be openly racist - albeit clothed in the pretence that they actually give a fuck about the welfare of our Indigenous fellow citizens. The referendum will be a pivotal moment in our history - an opportunity to capture a mutual generosity of spirit, to give a voice to the longest surviving culture on the planet, for Aboriginal Australians to no longer be marginalised in their own unceded land. It's a time for empathy and good will, for inclusiveness, and for leaders to show themselves. And it's only that very last bit that applies to the loathsome Dutton. His dishonest framing of "the Canberra Voice" or "Albanese's Voice", the dishonesty of claimed Voice interference in everything from the Reserve Bank to tying up the High Court in endless litigation, never ending calls for “more details”, a fantastical Aboriginal veto on Anzac day. The whole No case rests on misinformation, deceit and lies. Alice Springs revealed Dutton's true, vile character. Recent images of street crime have been represented as a new phenomenon, except it is evidence of institutionalised, generational failure - failure that Spud cared not one whit for when he was in power. However, e xploiting child sexual abuse to paint a picture of undeserving Blacks to score opportunistic political points for his "No" campaign is a new low for a bloke who has form when it comes to demonising those of a darkish hue. Dutton is as stupid as he is odious. If the Yes vote succeeds in the referendum he's toast - a minor footnote in political history. If No prevails his reputation as a naysayer and wrecker will challenge that of Tony Sluggos Abbott but with racist overtones. But he will never take Scooter's crown as our worst ever only because he will never be PM. The gravedigger Rachel Withers The Monthly ‘Dog act’: NT police minister reacts angrily to Peter Dutton’s claims of Alice Springs child sexual abuse . Peter Dutton’s claims that “young Indigenous kids are being sexually assaulted on a regular basis” in Alice Springs. Lorena Allam Indigenous affairs editor, The Guardian. Saturday Paper Editorial. Dutton’s grift .

The 'No' campaign and the Trumpifaction of the tinpotato Oooh yeah, hate and division.....soooo good! Image: The Chaser It has been said that Donald Trump appealed to many millions of Americans because he gave them permission to be the very worst of what they always were. I n a divided and acrimonious USA a scandal-weary public has become numbed to the orange Trumplethinskin's outrages, while others have gleefully embraced them. T he botoxed, duck-lipped Fox News Barbies, the goateed ammosexuals, the evangelical god fodder, anti-semites, trailer trash and white supremacists, the defiantly ignorant oicks, evolutionary dead-enders, low information, chuckleheaded moon units, the proto-nazi authoritarians and the kooks and goons admire his cruelty. They like the hideous aspects of his character. An increasingly desperate Trump may be headed to prison but Trumpism lives on in the GOP. He has normalised the nasty. "MAGA voters wont change. They’re in a statist, authoritarian cult driven by racial animus, lurid conspiracy twaddle, and a corrupt media-entertainment outrage complex that has conditioned them to constant outrage with a steady drip of agitprop." Rick Wilson - American political strategist and former member of the Republican Party. Meanwhile here in Oz, Trumpism hasn't just infiltrated the L/NP it has been embraced by them. P. Duddy and the biggest collection of halfwits and felons to ever pollute the political discourse of this country have, through their successful sabotage of the Voice referendum, established the template for their future behaviour - imported American culture wars ("the woke agenda”, "the radical left", undefined "elites", whatever "other" scapegoat du jour comes in handy), outrage politics, manufactured grievance and the deployment of an overflowing Trumpian swill bucket of lies and distortions. And season that with some of Spud's not so secret sauce - good ol' Howardesque racism. Pulling out all stops to destroy the Yes campaign for purely political purposes as they always intended and then blame Labor for its failure is Trumpian in its chutzpah - peeing through our letter box then ringing the doorbell to ask us how far it went¹. Coached by apparatchiks from the US Republican party with its capacity for excess and extremism the Spud has taken to GOP perfidy as a supplement to his natural FUD instincts and his 'oppose everything' Mad Abbott-redux mendacity. The Voice referendum saw Spud's Trumpy play - field testing the efficacy of blatant falsehoods where truth becomes meaningless, his lies, one after another, his hole-in-the-bucket pretext for ever more details "flooding the zone with shit" and denying space for challenges to his deceit while directing resentment at some manufactured grievance all while going unchallenged by a lazy or complicit media. To further his own base ambitions Herr Shickltuber has shown he will abandon truth as a foundational principle of a functional democracy. Remember, this guy is so appalling the Tories chose the fabulist Skiddy Morrison over him. He's less popular than herpes but as with the American's Tangerine Man he's now tapped into the worst in us via his Voice duplicity, one element of which is the anti-elitist from the Chairman's Lounge and the Tories's tame aborigine who gave the racists permission to openly piss into the hand generously offered by indigenous Australians. " A weaponised conservative woman who can say things out loud that white conservatives haven’t dared to say since the early 1960s ²" Jacinta Nampijinpa Price gave Spud his "some of my best friends are aborigines" cover for kicking our First Peoples when they are down. While we in Oz have our share of the comfortably dumb, window lickers, frank spankers and people whose faces are too small for their heads are we not immune to the American's port-a-loo in a cyclone Trumpism? We flatter ourselves that we're more egalitarian, we're the land of the fair go, we're fair dinkum rugged individuals who can think for ourselves and who look after our mates. As the 'Yes' option in the Voice referendum got torched we were rudely awakened to what a load of old flannel that self-image is. Could it be that instead we're a nation of timorous Chicken Littles who in 1999 declined the opportunity to put our big boy pants on and become a republic? Frightened, nay-saying, gullible, gormless dullards, wilfully ignorant, selfish, compliant sooks lacking in imagination and ambition? There is some comfort that many mllions of us supported the Voice, and that the systemic disadvantage of indigenous lives has been brought to the fore so that even the nasties must acknowledge its reality (while denying any accountability for enshrining it). But large swathes of the public who inhabit the trailing end of the decency bell curve have been gamed by a nasty campaign of racist tropes. Not once did Spud, his pet dragon - the less than fully shevelled LeyZ Sussan or that feral fright wig in a pants suit the egregious Michaelia Cash call out any of this repugnant behaviour - the standard they all walked past. Instead there have been Trumpian attacks on our institutions including the courts, the AEC and government itself. Trump: " The electon was rigged. " Spud: " ...I don’t think we should have a process that’s rigged and that’s what the prime minister’s tried to orchestrate from day one .” The mere idea of Old Chum Dutton as PM is sticking a Grange label on a goon bag. He's a physical palindrome - afflicted with Zachary's disease he's an arse whichever way you look at him. A visionless plodder who confuses bullying the powerless with strength, validating wilfull ignorance as a legitimate excuse for nastiness - "if you don’t know, vote no". Tories prefer their electors to be uninformed and apathetic. His bald-faced, opportunistic tarring of Albo with the Alan Joyce stigma - “ hanging out with Alan Joyce, red carpet events and, you know, they’re besties having dinner together, all the rest of it ”. His risible claim that the rabidly anti-union, low wagers are the party of working Australians, In government the Tories needed the parameters of common decency to be written down - perhaps not so much to provide guidance on what constitutes acceptable behaviour from adults but as a means of identifying loop holes. Spud has no core beliefs about anything. He makes it up as he goes along. The Tories' pals from Advance’s stated tactic of instructing its volunteers to use fear and doubt rather than facts to defeat the Voice. The Tories have a shared ethos of the increasingly rabid right - neo-nazis, cookers, Karens, heirs of the murderous squatters, the Christian Taliban, racists suddenly discovering theyre against racism. Given the success of the right-wing baggers' carpet bombing of a polite invitation to progress reconciliation we will now see an orange-tinted potato amping up the lies and misinformation. When tested do we manifest anger and hostility to defend an identity that is based on dominance? Are we susceptible to far-right ideology that attacks democracy and normalizes violence against progressive agendas and liberal values³? Post-Howard the Tories are a party of opposition and resentment playing on fears and prejudices defined by what they're against. The Liberal Party of Robert Menzies has devolved into authoritarian demagoguery while the Nationals, as ever, just tag along for the free ride. 'No' voters have not only denied First Peoples a means to improve their systemically disadvantaged lives they have also endorsed Dutton's Trumpification of Oz politics where truth, integrity and fidelity are entirely dispensible. * * * * * ¹ Author Maureen Lipman ² Tony Wright, SMH ³ Trumpism, the extreme far-right ideology - opendemocracy.net Good reading Peter Dutton bids for the mantle of conspiracy-theorist-in-chief . Crikey. “No” camp has been seeking to sell even our most venerable institutions down the river to gain political traction. There is no conservatism in that – it is Trumpian . The Monthly. “Importing US approaches into Australia [during election campaigns] has rarely worked … but a referendum is very different,” said Axel Bruns, a professor in Queensland University of Technology’s digital media research centre. “The choice is more similar to US voting. You can run these polarising, polarised campaigns that are about two stark choices. ” The Guardian. The right’s No campaign is a Trojan horse. Crikey. Mark Kenny | Could Opposition Leader Peter Dutton vacate the middle entirely? Canberra Times. Peter rabid. Rachel Withers, The Monthly. Stunt man . Rachel Withers, The Monthly. Peter Dutton is the exploding fire hydrant of politics pushing his party to the angry fringes and electoral oblivion? The Guardian. What are ‘Advance’ and ‘Fair Australia’, and why are they spearheading the ‘no’ campaign on the Voice? The Conversation. Compare that with Opposition Leader Peter Dutton’s latest op-ed in the Herald Sun, which is riddled with misleading statements and scaremongering. He continues to claim we do not have the detail about the Voice — we do — and that the High Court could give the Voice to Parliament undue power — it can’t. He says the constitution has been a source of stability for 122 years — in fact, Australians have voted to change it eight times. Dutton called the Voice “the most consequential change to our system in history”. In 1967 we quite literally voted to give the Commonwealth the power to make special laws for Indigenous people, and to count Indigenous people as people in the census (they were never covered under a flora and fauna act, however, as the ABC debunked) — rather more significant changes than an advisory body, one might think. Crikey If the world’s post-truth era is just getting started, and if the Coalition is determined to take advantage of it, then the last few weeks will seem, in hindsight, quite mild. And in case you don’t think things can get worse, remember this: every time you’ve thought that in the past two decades, they did. Sean Kelly, SMH Opposition Leader Peter Dutton always looks sincere. The trouble is that he says things that are objectively untrue, things he cannot possibly believe. Michael Bradley. Crikey .

An arsehole is in plain view Cartoon: Alan Moir Just over half a term ago the prune juice kicked in and Australia had one of its more satisfying movements - the Great Schmo was number two-ed by the voters. Now, after a fruitless 18 months of unreturned phone calls Schmo (" If you're good at your job, you'll get a job ") has finally announced his pending resignation from politics to almost universal relief, not least from the Liberals. With some clear air replacing the stale waft of curry a certain truncheon-headed autocrat thinks the planets are aligning in his favour. It's not easy to imagine a slight upward tic at the corner of Peter Dutton's mouth - an animation not often manifest given Herr Shickltuber's narcoleptic personality. Watching flies crawl across his eye balls is usually the most captivating aspect of his lugubrious presence. Yet with Albo's and Big Jim Chalmer's fixes to Schmo's stage 3 tax wedge an aroused gruppenfritter senses another opportunity to indulge the Tories' favoured practices of fear and division - the embaldened Dutton no doubt thinks this "broken promise" will seal the deal of his ascension to the big, green swivel chair despite his appeal being lower than that of tertiary syphilis. Dud & Suss's bedpan rodeo has hitched up to the Murdochrities' RWFW hypocrisy bandwagon, loaded their confected outrage, mounted their high horse and taken to the airwaves for a wall-to-wall tantrum & humbug expo. No-one does tits-caught-in-a-mangle, faux indignation as does the gaffe incontinent Suss Ley. Desperately shrieking Sussan, with the face of a half-deflated hemorrhoid cushion underlining the quality of her discourse, announced that the Libs when again in power would reverse the Labor tax initiatives thereby denying 92% of voters (and about 98% of her own constituents) an increased tax cut. Thinking is hard hence Suss's outbursts, guided by a numerologist, are usually subject to blow-back. A no doubt blistering phone call from Lib H.O. had Suss in Trumpian denial that she'd ever said what she'd plainly said. "...deputy leader Sussan Ley told Sky News when asked if the Coalition would roll back the changes “this is our position. This is absolutely our position”. For good measure, when asked again if the Coalition would restore the original package, Ley replied “we’ve made it very clear that this is our policy. The policy is the legislated position that stands today.” Crikey Cuddly Pete, self-declared convert to working class hero, copped some derision of his own making for his latest foray in the interminable Tory culture wars by attacking Woolworths as being woke for not stocking Australia Day made-in-China tat - oi oi oi themed bucket hats and double pluggers. The icing on the you-fucked-that-up cake was Cuddly-Spuddly's notion that Australians should boycott Woolies - the employer of some 200,000 of his new BFF cohort - the working folk. When made aware through the hoots and guffaws of the idiocy of such a call and the consequent vandalising of Woolies stores by his real constituency (i.e. fuckwits) Pete pulled a Schmo and went into hiding. What a guy. Dutton on same sex marriage: " unconscionable that companies are morally coerced by campaigns to boycott their products ." Dutton on Woolies: boycott them over Australia Day merch. Spud is not a deep thinker. Look at how easily his amateurish coup to unseat Turnbull was out-manouvered by an unholy trinity of pentacostalist Mammonites - Schmo, Brother Stuie and Alex Hawke. “ We prayed that righteousness would exalt the nation. ” The upgraded tax changes require legislation to be voted on in Parliament. It will be hugely amusing watching Spud squirm as the Tories either vote against bigger tax breaks for the majority or they go along with Labor's changes. Would you like butter on that popcorn? The massive Chalmers wedgie he's going to cop would bring a tear to a fish's eye. By being as thick as a QC's carpet Spud is also predictable. Spurred by the success of his cynical sabotage of The Voice, Spud will be amping up the negativity, and the conflict and division to indulge his natural instincts for cultivating the culture wars, to invent or provoke outrage, to victimise and to bully. He re-purposed Australia Day; let's see what he has in store for Anzac Day.

There go my people. I must follow them, for I am their leader.* Image source The L/NP tree-house club, like many RWNJ organisations, is defined by what it's against rather than what it's for - where conservatism is a constant battle for preservation of the status quo; where anti is easy and initiative is hard. It's where bias beats brains. The only constant is change yet these trogs forever fight against it whenever it threatens their privilege and their incumbent pandering to the greed interests of their cohort. National well-being and vision? Phhht! Their thought bubbles and brain farts are reflexive responses based on the crude Tory dogma of Hayekian and Randesque fuck-you-Jack neoliberalism seasoned with the Lib's very own game of mates and the Nat's agrarian socialism and fossil fuel boondoggles. Which brings me to The Thug. The head veg is wholly defined by who he hates and he's driven by the reichwingers' grievance manifesto of hostility to lefties, greenies, those with darkish skin tones, gays and trans, gig workers, unionists, academics, scientists, clean energy advocates ...fundamentally, anyone not a fellow RWNJ punisher and straightener in on the grift. A head kicker, the hard-right, glass-jawed potentato to whom 'going clubbing' means baby seals, flatters himself that he's PM material. He has the instincts of a goon but lacks the intellect for original thought or leadership. His is a "what would Joh do?" cronyism and a try-hard-Trumpy trashing of integrity and basic decencies. His cultivated hard man persona is but a variation of Tony Abbott's bulging ball-bag affectation. But Abbott's bunking with the boofy AFP wallopers when in Canberra had homo-erotic undertones - flicking each other with wet towels in the showers and plaiting each others' hair no doubt further disturbs the macho vigour of The Thug's self-image. Contributing to the laddish character of the Potato patch is an oft-basted root vegetable, the empurpled member for New England, Drunkerby Joyce. The David Copafeel of federal politics has now added a new skill to diversify his sex pest and lagerphile repertoire - backstroking on the asphalt swimming pool. In 2017 the then Tory government called for alcohol and drug testing of welfare recipients with Barnaby declaiming " You can't go to work if you're smashed... " hypocrisy being one of Drunkerby's most versatile talents. The Shovel All of the Big Swinging Dick bombast, the boozing and bullying, the staff fondling, allusions to shooting toey women protesters, the tabling of seminal works by a Lib staffer , tea-bagging and rusty tromboning in the Prayer Room and plausible rape allegations, surprise surprise, tends to turn the wimmins off and they fled in their thousands to Independents, Greens and Labor. And so The Thug, PM option number two, resolved to soften his image as a reboot. Cuddly Pete and Smiley Pete though had the shelf-life of a Liz Truss lettuce . The Lib/Nat brains trust relieved the ladies ga-ga of kitchen duties and pointed them at the cameras when the Great Schmo's gynophobia became too apparent to ignore. These ScoHo's are now rebadged as Spud's Noisettes. Perversely, to be permitted access to the boy zone the girls need to demonstrate they can be just as egregious as their male colleagues - a challenge they've readily risen to. Ley Zee the flying none is the most prominent. Suss drew the 'beligerent outrage' role during casting. I won't drag out the slur that Mad Abbott and the RW crazies used against Julia Gillard - let me just say that it's been posited that Suss weighs the same as a duck and would float if thrown into a pond . Suss's performative indignation is a natural fit for someone whose life choices have collapsed her face into a permanent sulk of disappointment. Phlegm fatale Michaelia Cash provides back-up vocals. Waving her arms about like she'd walked through a spider web, her bogan-toned hyperbole delivered in a mad cat lady on crack meets North Korean news reader lady style sends a warning to our youth of the dangers of VO5 addiction. (Although perhaps her hysteria is due to the wind changing direction on her when she'd dialled the Just For Her © "muscle toner" up to 11). Calamity Jane Hume graduated 3rd in the nasty class at the National Arboretum behind a Hydnora Africana and a Amorphophallus titanum which goes some way to explaining the inane, smug condescension that belies her role in 9 years of Tory incompetence and graft. One of the first things Morrison did as PM in 2018 was to intervene in the Senate preselections in Victoria to ensure that Jane was re-endorsed. Luckily Hume's ex-husband got the contract as one of the debt collection companies for Robodebt . Jane's thoughtful insights include: " We don't have policies. We're in opposition, we're not in government " and that an ICAC could deter “good” people from entering public life! Jacinta NameYa-Price, the RWFW's "some of my best friends are aborigines" cover for their overt racism has maybe outlived her usefulness now that The Voice has been successfully sabotaged. Jacinta could find out anew what it's like to be pushed to the fringes. Rortess Bridget McKenzie.xls is as come hither as the dot of shame on Barnaby Joyce's moleskins. That this shot-gun wielding, fat-shaming, beligerent loud mouth is seen by the Nats as softening their image says a lot; particularly about their perspective that their electorates are populated by credulous rubes - not that they're wholly wrong. But, back to the main theme - The Thug. His embrace of autocracy, his inherent peeing-in-the-hotel-kettle nastiness, his rigid adherence to Tory dogma and a wit that is a 3G modem in a 5G world makes him entirely predictable. A national leader? He is more out of his depth than Harold Holt. In naval terms he's a rudderless shit. He will never be PM. * Apocryphyly attributed to Alexandre Auguste Ledru-Rollin, a French lawyer, politician and one of the leaders of the French Revolution of 1848. Moir

A test article - is he nuts? Alan Moir " I thought the chance of Dutton being prime minister was so terrible," Turnbull says. "I thought Dutton would run off to the right. He would be dog whistling. He'd be going on about Muslims and migrants, and any right-wing, hot-button, red-meat issue he could go for, he would go for. And I thought he would do a lot of damage as prime minister of Australia in a short period. Because once people become prime minister, they're off the leash. " Malcolm Turnbull, Nemisis, ABC It's now been two and a bit years on the sidelines for Dud and Suss and the chamber pot rodeo that is the Tory coagulation. They now seem to have settled on a key theme for their desperate marketing of the L/NP grift machine as viable, alternative government - nuclear power. The Thug's inherent talents had previously been pushed to the fore as a primary strategy - fear campaigns and a Howardesque racism (the Tories' nod and wink to One Notionists and those at the bigot end of the nut job bell curve). He seemed to have embraced the idea that his innate hatefulness had been validated via his successful appeal to the worst in our nature through his ' go low, go No ' mendacity in the Voice referendum. Dud's FUD¹ is surely the quintessence of the man. Taking time out from drowning kittens to disparage the dusky and the powerless always puts a spring in his goose-step. ¹ Fear, uncertainty and doubt Carping negativity and constant doom-mongering, hyperbolic distortions of events, dismissal of inconvenient reality, Trumpian post-truth narratives to frame their hypocritical, self-righteous humbug and their blaming-the-dog-for-farting pecksniffery, accusations of failings that they themselves effected when in government, opportunistic partisan sledging to politicise any issue regardless of collateral damage - all to be deployed as chance arises of course, as per the Tory handbook. And all with the enthusiastic participation of the Murdoch t̶o̶i̶l̶e̶t̶s̶ outlets. But Dud's now changed tack - pitching a Bjelke-Petersenite "don't you worry about that" nuclear energy brain fart as his election winning master stroke. Dud projects a dullard's demeanor, a gormless oaf who's confused by the concepts of logic or reasonableness. His narcoleptic personality suggests the power had failed on his cocoon partway through his metamorphosis to a human-like form and his presentation skills trigger a Pavlovian gag reflex so what makes him think he can sell this particular dog? Why does he think it's a winner? Let's speculate. There was a brief post-FauxMo attempt at re-packaging the Dud. Cuddly Pete ™ had the shelf-life of a Liz Truss lettuce after the Tory/Murdoch brains trust pinged that a Hannibal Lecter psychopathology in a dull-eyed, lumbering Spudzilla masquarading as your kindly uncle was not only well beyond Dud's acting skills but also beyond the credibility of their own rabid propaganda. So then came the "party for the workers" pitch. Dud celebrated this newly discovered workers' champion status by jumping onto the pointy end of an aeroplane on a 9 hour round trip to Perth to spend just 40 minutes of quality time gobbing Caviar Russe Classic Osetra, quaffing Pol Roger Brut Reserve and plucking the hairs on billionaire Gina Reinhart's chins at her ostentatious birthday celebrations. "The same people that said that the minimum wage would wreck the economy, tax cuts for all Australians was Marxist economics in a war on hard-working Australians, the same people who said the weekend would be over and there would be no more barbecues for everybody." Katherine King MP Was another contrived persona called for following the failure of these facile attempts at reimaging? A nuclear science-literate visionary, a man of energy, a can-do man of action? That notion is ludicrous as is obvious - Dud is more Larry Vaughn , mayor of Amity Island². But such a try-on is no more risible than their previous two goes at 'hide the fuckwit'. ² Jaws movie reference Which brings us to that huge deposit in the mining industry; Gina herself. Gina, aka Big Vag, is a filthy rich nepo baby who roundly embraces an anti-worker, anti-environment ethic and so is perfectly placed to call the shots in RWNJ Toryland. Big Vag has interests in coal mines so delaying the closure of fossil-fueled power stations that further tops up her billions at the expense of a habitable planet is an L/NP face on which she is prepared to sit. Then there's the Nats who've never seen a regional boondoggle they didn't like - provided someone else is paying. Nuclear power is being championed by yokel luminaries and one string banjos such as jizz distributer & VB sommelier BJ, the Purpled Priapus from New England. Nominative deterministic David Littleproud and pencil-neck Matt King Coal Canavan ("what have koalas ever done for us") will also do all that they can to obstruct clean energy - the notion of viable ecosystems being anathema to their $-driven ideology. The play for these envionmental criminals is to stop or delay any more wind or solar power generation. The level of humbug displayed by these plunderers as they profess a heretofore unspoken concern for the wellbeing of whales supposedly at risk from wind turbines is truly astonishing. These things are all speculative but nevertheless still plausible contributors to Dud's adoption of the nuclear albatross. However the underlying rationale I believe resides within that dark, dank sinkhole of malignant authoritarian cruelty and deceit that forms his being. "Dutton's raison d'être? Make Australia Afraid Again. Then he will offer himself as the lesser of two evils. A serious strongman for the age of anxiety." Bad Cop, Lech Blaine This is not about energy policy, it's Dutton doing what Dutton does - stoking a culture war. He has no intention of seeing nuclear energy come to fruition, rather it's to drive uncertainty to sabotage investment in green energy and then abandon climate action. Positives for Dud are that it enrages Greens, "dirty lefties" and latte-sipping inner-city elites, it disguises his paucity of ideas ("look, squirrel"), he controls the agenda by flooding the zone with shit³, and it helps to camouflage that he's got as much substance as a snowman in a hot tub and couldn't carry a stick through an open door. And our pathetic corporate media is lapping it up. ³Steve Bannon, pustulated, Trumpy slimebag The consequences for national security, energy independence, sovereignty, Australia's potential pariah status and economic haemorrhaging are all entirely secondary to the ambition of a truly nasty, divisive thug. Is he nuts? You be the judge - my take is that he's psychotic. “…the paucity of talent inside the ranks of the federal parliamentary Liberal Party is such that there will be many eager for Frydenberg to return. Right now, if Peter Dutton were to be hit by the bus – or flogged at the next election – there is no obvious leadership alternative. None.” AFR "journo" and Lib Party stenographer Phil Coorey Make Australia afraid again: must we have our own Trump moment for Peter Dutton to become PM? Lech Blaine. The Guardian. Bad cop: Peter Dutton’s strongman politics. Lech Blaine. The New Daily. Outrage is a key performance indicator for Peter Dutton, the ‘bad cop’ of politics. But what does he value? Judith Brett. The Conversation. The Stats Guy: Dutton’s migration dog-whistle doesn’t stack up . Simon Kuestenmacher - The New Daily. Peter Dutton is Australia’s figurehead of fear and fake news, like Trump but without charisma. Katharine Murphy. The Guardian 14Oct23. https://www.thesaturdaypaper.com.au/news/politics/2024/05/04/unusual-chess-player-how-labor-approaching-peter-dutton?utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=social&utm_term=read_shared_article&utm_campaign=social_share_icons&utm_content=sidebar_share https://insidestory.org.au/lib-leadership/

Spotlight on Spud https://www.ausdoc.com.au/ If you're the mop & bucket wallah at a back street rub & tug or, worse still, a News Corpse hack you may well think your job sucks. But imagine being one of those Lib functionaries who is assigned to stare adoringly at El Chippo during one of his televised pressers. How demeaning. A gaping chasm in self-respect is required to publicly display fawning deference to a witless goon who has the allure of a parking station bollard! That must be mortifying when you've got the inside skinny on what an underwhelming unit he really is. This goo-goo eyed sycophancy is intended no doubt to help disguise his vacuity - the void where no deep thoughts trouble his conscience. Now, with the election campaign underway he's being subjected to the scrutiny heretofore gone missing in the corporate media's witless protection programming. Have you noticed how he never smiles with his eyes? Except once - with a chirpy self-congratulation at hitting a press cameraman full in the face with a football (" Got him! Got him! He’s split open too! " 😃¹). A forced rictus with dead-eyed stare is his standard mien - the chill that then runs up your spine being all of the warmth that he can generate. But also, at times he'll clench his buttocks to squeeze a grimace - intended as a smile no doubt but it's more suggestive of a sniggering schoolboy who has farted in your lunchbox. The Voice was his Viagra. He was as aroused as it is possible for a 3 day cadaver to be. It was manna for his rat bastardry wrapped, ribboned and delivered at his feet by a well-meaning but credulous Albo. FUD, provoking division, explicit anti-indigenous racism (no dog whistle required), projection ('Yes' advocates are the racists apparently), the bogey of "woke, inner-city, radical left" culture warriors, out-of-touch Albo, wannabe whitey Jacinta Name Ya Price deployed as Chief Astroturfing Officer, lies, lies and lies (the Voice will have veto power or act as a third chamber, attacking the AEC and a “rigged” process ). Opposing not proposing, the tuberous opportunist of " If you don't know vote 'No' " is a shameless, detail-free hypocrite. The garroting of the referendum was his defining moment and was to be his ticket to 𝖪̶𝗂̶𝗋̶𝗋̶𝗂̶𝖻̶𝗂̶𝗅̶𝗅̶𝗂̶ ̶𝖧̶𝗈̶𝗎̶𝗌̶𝖾̶ The Lodge. "Dutton conned himself into thinking he was doing brilliantly" Sean Kelly, SMH This would-be potentato is so slow on the uptake that the back of his head is covered in bug splatter. He's thicker than a coalminer's sandwich, his judgement even finding virtues in a woman whose cack-handedness turned her to compost in less time than it takes to wilt a lettuce. "Liz is an incredibly intelligent, pragmatic and courageous leader who will not only make a fine Prime Minister but also lead Britain through challenges domestic and foreign...Liz will be the strongest of leaders to advance mutual security and economic objectives with Australia..." Spud on Liz Truss, Sept 2022 His subsequent defaulting to a Farage-like fanboying of Trump and his fixations for inspiration to fill his policy void is not characteristic of a strategic visionary. "He's not become the President of the United States by being anything other than shrewd, you've seen it in his business life, and the art of the deal is important to him, that both sides of the deal are contributing, that nobody's ripping each other off." Spud, 2GB, Feb 2025 One orange-stuccoed chucklefuck alone cannot sabotage the well-being of an entire planet - Trump's exercising of his psychosis needs a supporting ecosystem of corrupt RWFW and RWNJ effluvia surrendering their fealty to their moron-in-chief and that's where Spud planted his flag. MAGA/“Let’s get Australia back on track”, DEI, WFH, DOGE, the "woke" trope, threatening to abolish the Dept of Education, accusing schools of indoctrination, limiting overseas students, threatening to deport dual citizens, immigrant bashing, Palestinian-demonising...the bin juice of far right shibboleths. Bell-bottomed bogan Michaelia Cash was quick out of the blocks: “The Merkin peeble, thoi ex-pegged action, and that's what thoi are getting and thoiy’ll get the exact soime additude unner a Poida Dutton govvament.” The marching band cat lady on Nine Network’s Today show Trump V1.0's kakistocracy of greed and grievance, the cynical made in China MAGA merch, the sexual predation, the fraud, the broken businesses, the wall-to-wall grift did not turn the Tories from the tutelage of their MAGA mentors. With Trump V2.0's win they lined up outside the spray tan booth. Then they were confronted with the all too obvious kinks in the slinky. It only took threatening Canada and Greenland with annexation, abusing Volodymyr Zelensky, torching the world economy and slapping Oz with arbitrary tariffs. A re-set was called for. Time again for the Hard Man © . Spud would have us believe that he, amongst all of the world's leaders, is the one capable of shirt-fronting Trump. Hmmm...rings a bell. "...I alone can fix it." Trump, July 2016 This hard case is scared of scrutiny, terrified of the ABC's Laura Tingle. He disappeared for days at the first whiff of grapeshot yet he tells us he can challenge Trump. He deploys hapless flunkies as human shields - his 2IC, Suss with the face of a deflating balloon reflecting her rapidly receding expectations and Twaddledumb and Twaddledumber - the deer in the headlights Calamity Jane Hume and Miss Appropriation 2019 Brigit McKenzie. Always with the women under the bus. Spud's not a smart man. He says he can find "common ground" with Trump, but suggesting he could deal with the tangerine turd just further entrenches a view of his Trumpy alignment. His technique is yet to be tested but spooning the Dementadon (with reach around) is not the image most of Oz wants of their PM. Where to from here? He's been outed as an acolyte of a bloated Caligula, a tangerine-tainted Mini Me, a self-regarding buffoon of no readily apparent worthiness. The Tory handbook will be getting dog-eared, the application of the dark arts being desperately work-shopped as their chances fade. There are even whispers of a possible Spudectomy. Enjoy the next few weeks - the intensity of the worshipful stares at Duddy may decrease as their hopes and dreams get dashed on the rocks of karma. ¹ The cameraman, Ghaith Nader, is a former refugee. You could patch up the Titanic with the irony.