From whinging, whining and blowing snot bubbles to playing to the Klueless Klutz Klan.
From objet d'ridicule to vile scrubber.
"The real competition now is to see who is a bigger drag on the Liberal vote, Dutton or Ley. Either way it’s a race to the bottom."
Dee Madigan
The Tory capacity for feculence knows no boundaries. There are no dogs unwhistleable, no sewers untrawlable, there are no hypocrisies too breathtaking nor any lie too blatant in their campaign to re-establish their 'rightful' access to the national treasure to then divert to their mates - as is their entire raison d'etre.
There is no outrage that they won't countenance. Do not doubt, say, that they carefully watch Benedict Orange and wonder admiringly how much of his behaviour they could get away with here.
“Drugs, criminals, gang members and terrorists are pouring into our country at record levels. We’ve never seen anything like it. They’re taking over our cities.”
Tangerine man and career criminal Rapey McScumbag
Time to up the ante on John Howard's Tampa and children overboard subterfuges. Step forward Sussan Lley:
“If you live in Frankston and you’ve got a problem with Victorian women being assaulted by foreign criminals, vote against Labor.
“If you do not want to see Australian women being assaulted by foreign criminals, vote against Labor. Send Labor a message.”
Suss's tweet on the Dunkley byelection
But let's start on a positive note. Suss has some worthwhile attributes. As a qualified accountant she can do sums - adding up and taking away; a skill set that could prove handy in any future party room test of fealty, eh Spud <cough>Scott Morrison</cough>? Some say she can also read joined-up running writing and that, as a pilot, she has the unique talent in the Tory sunshine bus of well-developed hand/eye coordination. That's it, that's all I've got on the + side.
Suss's feigned outrage is one of the Tories' go-to-market strategies. If only she was a better actor. Her aesthetic of prolapsed whoopee cushion with duck face is a manifestation of the realisation of disappointed expectations that would otherwise be shown by someone who hands out the towels at a Fyshwick rub 'n' tug. Suss comes fully armed with a lengthy whine list that seeds a suspicion that she pickles her own vag, denying the reality of her active membership of the most delinquent, corrupt and incompetent government in our history.
The Tories obviously believe that their constant whining handfeeds the lazy and vacuous hordes of flacks who dominate our complicit media, the Lib's humbug and hypocrisy usually going unremarked upon. "Flooding the zone with shit" as Steve Bannon, one of their admired models of democratic integrity, has championed.
This humbug and hypocrisy is an area where Suss has demonstrated some particular talent, joining the pile-on of Anthony Albanese for his (shock, horror) travel as Prime Minister of a whole, actual country when she has taken 27 flights in and out of the Gold Coast over recent years where her partner owned a bin-cleaning business (some sort of metaphysical connection surely). 2 minor details - the Gold Cost is about 270° and 1,400 kms off course from the travel between her electorate and Canberra. All done within the rules of course.
Her boss's view of folks who don't match the colours on his chart of acceptable tinges is hardly hidden. The Thug walked out on the apology to the stolen generation, he orchestrated a duplicitous campaign against The Voice, he figuratively poked refugee kiddies with pointed sticks, warned of African gangs and deployed black-uniformed goons to patrol Melbourne streets to quizz the dusky-toned. And our consonant abuser Suss is a proven Spuddist - during the 2018 Liberal leadership spills she voted for Dutton against Trumble in the first vote and again voted for Herr Shickltuber against Diddley Scott in the second spill days later. Add 'fascist adjacent race baiter' to her CV.
In 2001 Suss lost Tory preselection for the Victorian seat of Indi to the truly horrendous Sophie Mirabella. On a scale from 'mildly disgusting' to Peter Dutton, Sussan Lley is now a Pauline Hanson; the Tories' very own version of the red dipstick. Is that how she rose from Indi reject to her current status as number 2? Because she's proven to be worse than Mirabella?
Spud and Suss. Bubba and Squeak. The crème de la crims of the Tory Party. FMD!
*****
A random sampling of Suss's greatest hits
What have the koalas ever done for us?
Ley successfully appealed a Federal Court ruling that she had a "duty of care to children to consider climate change harm when approving coal mines".
She approved a Coalition decision to scrap 176 out of 185 recovery plans designed to prevent the extinction of threatened species and habitats, including the Tasmanian devil.
With 1600 threatened species she claims... we will destroy their habitat for jobs so “we just have to pick winners”
Hiding a document that was handed to the coalition government in December 2021, ahead of the 2022 Australian federal election. The document outlined the poor and declining health of the Australian ecosystem.
She voted consistently against:
Ending illegal logging,
Federal government action on animal & plant extinctions,
Increasing marine conservation,
Increasing protection of Australia's fresh water,
The Paris Climate Agreement.
She approved the clearing of 52hectares of koala habitat for a quarry.
She identifies as a feminist.
"While men speak on a variety of topics, they also speak for women so I’m very comfortable with the leadership of our party."
She has also promised to travel widely throughout Australia to listen to women. Noting her pile-on of PM Albo's travel.
Moron says what now?
"We know we're not going to have electric vehicles tomorrow," Ms Ley said. "And no one in the world is making an electric ute, by the way, and even if they were it would be unaffordable."
Sussan Ley, Question Time 6 Feb 24
"Will the PM rule out any changes to the current tax treatment of neg gearing?"
Sussan Ley, Sky News 7 Feb 24
"I'm not going to play the yes, this is good, no this is bad, the rule in, rule out. I'm not going to do that."
Ley twice travelled at taxpayer expense to the Gold Coast to attend events with Sarina Russo, one of Australia’s richest women, whose companies won multimillion dollar contracts under the Abbott government.