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The Dear Leader

FauxMo's cult of personalities

Does the absence of a personality of itself define a personality? This is the FauxMo Conundrum, or Schrödinger's Twat as I like to call it.

The paradox being that if FauxMo does have a personality it is characterised by the apparent absence of a definitive personality; a void that he fills by projecting one of his focus grouped, duly accessorised caricatures onto the audience du jour, all franchised under the ScoMo® homebrand.

Contrived personalities disguise his true character and temperament. His ever-present, self-satisfied, know-all smirk is as obvious as a cock&balls tatooed on his forehead; it's the nudge, nudge, wink, wink to his cohort of shonks and duds who think they're getting away with it all.

This human embodiment of the gag reflex would not be successful at the great con if more people paid attention.


FauxMo, the patron saint of hyprocrites and the incontinent, has finally outed himself. Swathed in all his exerable humbug St.'Unt di la Shire (canonisation formalities pending) is at once professing both humility and God's personal endorsement. Unaccessorised with baseball cap, hi-viz or virgin tool-belt he has now succumbed to the urge of the self-righteous to proclaim his specialness and his virtue, overcoming any reservations about revealing his true self if his recent rambling sermon to his fellow Australian Christian Churches' rapturists is any guide.

Bro Faux has put out the word that Hughie is on-side by explicitly proclaiming that the invisible hand of his fantastical, imaginary friend has personally intervened, his divine mission being "called to do Gods' work". The Messiah from The Shire in "the great south land of the Holy Spirit" FFS! Quite the presumption for other than the Pope, The Donald or televangelical hucksters who are, ironically, all aware that such takes are marketing flimflam.

Vapid, calculating, thin-skinned - the catalyst for FauxMo's smarmy, uncompromising hubris in the face of his habitual incompetence and his avoidance of any accountability can now be explained. He really believes he's been chosen via an evident miracle to steer secular Oz onto the path of his version of righteous cronyism while the hard yards of floods, droughts, fires and stranded Aussies are all in the hands of The Big Guy in the sky - “ ...I can’t fix the world, I can’t save the world We both believe in someone who can...

Image: Facebook

FauxMo's sermon, should you have the fortitude to listen to it, is a masterclass in hypocrisy and contradiction - useful tools for religious hustlers and political spivs. Faux is both but will deny he's either.

The whole godliness persona could just be another manifestation of Faux's transactional marketing sophistry. Is this whole Christian schtick contrived? His brand of holiness may be just another of his many fake routines confected for specific consumption. A Christian of convenience amplifying Medieval dogma for the Old Testament Armgeddonist fan fringe but also dog-whistling to the more rational church goers - harvesting their sympathy by framing all Christians as victims of the ungodly woke progressives' sneering disdain?

God-botherer or grifter?

Prophets or profits?

Jim Jones or Tony Blair?

Saving souls or sandbagging marginal seats?

Does he see Jesus's face in cheese toasties or does he see useful idiots to help sell his big neo-liberal con?

This guy has a Stepford wife and a 24x7 personal photographer; he covers all bases - a touch-up artist by both meanings -

The annointed one has apparently adopted the hands-on style with surreptitious feels of distraught souls - "I've been in evacuation centres where people thought I was just giving someone a hug. And I was praying. And putting my hands on people & various places, laying hands on them and praying, in various situations." Is God's fondler groping disaster victims as furtive conversion therapy - saving the souls that his deity made homeless? Mysterious ways indeed!

Losing your house to facilitate a coming-to-Jesus has a biblical precedent - and Bro FauxMo has a literal belief in such. 'Never mind, dear, I'll just touch you. Tithe 10% of your token disaster relief and smile for the camera over there ... now remember to vote for ScoMo.'

The gist is that this beligerent bully, this speaker-in-tongues, fluent in marketing piffle and gibberish, his contempt, smarm, arrogance and pettiness shaped by the prosperity doctrine of hard right evangelical hypocrites is so convinced by mis-placed self-belief he no longer even pretends to govern for those who won't vote for him, pray with him or donate to him.

He's ramping up the performances as the fuck ups cluster, subliminally morphing his kakocracy into a 7 Mountains Mandate theocracy that will ignore or persecute anyone not adhering to its end-times Old Testament values or participating in it's Randesque prosperity doctrine.

As he and his cronies power full smirk ahead with a manifesto of blatant graft and favouritism that would embarrass Saudi royalty the traditional Tory practices of incompetence and bastardry continue in the background.

Image: courtesy of my proctologist's waiting room

Faux's comms team has to weave the Jesusing into the PMO media stratgey and PR war gaming - A symbiotic relationship with the Murdoch manure machine.

FauxMo quotes

We believe in the everlasting punishment of the wicked (in the sense of eternal torment) who wilfully reject and despise the love of God"

Liberty cannot be established without morality, nor morality without faith.”

Freedom has never worked without deeply ingrained moral beliefs.

Translation: If you're without his faith you're without morals and are bound for hell, so why should Bro Faux have any fucks to give about you?

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"When the government puts its imprimatur on a particular religion, it conveys a message of exclusion to all those who do not adhere to the favored beliefs. A government cannot be premised on the belief that all persons are created equal when it asserts that God prefers some."

Harry Blackmun, Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States 1970 -1994.


1 Comment

James McHugh
James McHugh
May 03, 2021

Thanks as always Paul. BTW. I'm allowed back on twitter @shstirer.

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