An arsehole is in plain view
Cartoon: Alan Moir
Just over half a term ago the prune juice kicked in and Australia had one of its more satisfying movements - the Great Schmo was number two-ed by the voters.
Now, after a fruitless 18 months of unreturned phone calls Schmo ("If you're good at your job, you'll get a job") has finally announced his pending resignation from politics to almost universal relief, not least from the Liberals. With some clear air replacing the stale waft of curry a certain truncheon-headed autocrat thinks the planets are aligning in his favour.
It's not easy to imagine a slight upward tic at the corner of Peter Dutton's mouth - an animation not often manifest given Herr Shickltuber's narcoleptic personality. Watching flies crawl across his eye balls is usually the most captivating aspect of his lugubrious presence. Yet with Albo's and Big Jim Chalmer's fixes to Schmo's stage 3 tax wedge an aroused gruppenfritter senses another opportunity to indulge the Tories' favoured practices of fear and division - the embaldened Dutton no doubt thinks this "broken promise" will seal the deal of his ascension to the big, green swivel chair despite his appeal being lower than that of tertiary syphilis.
Dud & Suss's bedpan rodeo has hitched up to the Murdochrities' RWFW hypocrisy bandwagon, loaded their confected outrage, mounted their high horse and taken to the airwaves for a wall-to-wall tantrum & humbug expo.
No-one does tits-caught-in-a-mangle, faux indignation as does the gaffe incontinent Suss Ley. Desperately shrieking Sussan, with the face of a half-deflated hemorrhoid cushion underlining the quality of her discourse, announced that the Libs when again in power would reverse the Labor tax initiatives thereby denying 92% of voters (and about 98% of her own constituents) an increased tax cut. Thinking is hard hence Suss's outbursts, guided by a numerologist, are usually subject to blow-back. A no doubt blistering phone call from Lib H.O. had Suss in Trumpian denial that she'd ever said what she'd plainly said.
"...deputy leader Sussan Ley told Sky News when asked if the Coalition would roll back the changes “this is our position. This is absolutely our position”. For good measure, when asked again if the Coalition would restore the original package, Ley replied “we’ve made it very clear that this is our policy. The policy is the legislated position that stands today.”
Cuddly Pete, self-declared convert to working class hero, copped some derision of his own making for his latest foray in the interminable Tory culture wars by attacking Woolworths as being woke for not stocking Australia Day made-in-China tat - oi oi oi themed bucket hats and double pluggers. The icing on the you-fucked-that-up cake was Cuddly-Spuddly's notion that Australians should boycott Woolies - the employer of some 200,000 of his new BFF cohort - the working folk. When made aware through the hoots and guffaws of the idiocy of such a call and the consequent vandalising of Woolies stores by his real constituency (i.e. fuckwits) Pete pulled a Schmo and went into hiding. What a guy.
Dutton on same sex marriage: "unconscionable that companies are morally coerced by campaigns to boycott their products."
Dutton on Woolies: boycott them over Australia Day merch.
Spud is not a deep thinker. Look at how easily his amateurish coup to unseat Turnbull was out-manouvered by an unholy trinity of pentacostalist Mammonites - Schmo, Brother Stuie and Alex Hawke. “We prayed that righteousness would exalt the nation.” The upgraded tax changes require legislation to be voted on in Parliament. It will be hugely amusing watching Spud squirm as the Tories either vote against bigger tax breaks for the majority or they go along with Labor's changes. Would you like butter on that popcorn? The massive Chalmers wedgie he's going to cop would bring a tear to a fish's eye.
By being as thick as a QC's carpet Spud is also predictable. Spurred by the success of his cynical sabotage of The Voice, Spud will be amping up the negativity, and the conflict and division to indulge his natural instincts for cultivating the culture wars, to invent or provoke outrage, to victimise and to bully.
He re-purposed Australia Day; let's see what he has in store for Anzac Day.