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Scott Morrison lies here

Porky pies - St Gladys leaves the field to Scotty Two Thumbs

Image based on photo from The Chaser


That clanging sound you heard was St Gladys d'Berejiklian's halo dropping round her ankles like a cheap pair of drawers. Please know that Our Glad has completed the porcine trifecta - telling 'porky-pies' is now written in under the 'skills and experience' dot points on her CV with pork barrelling and porking Dirty Dazza. In so doing she's gazumped the liar and rorter exceptionnel, Two Thumbs himself, given that as far as we know, TwoT has limited his own mountings to heavy machinery photo-ops and handsy interference with oblivious bystanders. Turns out that in addition to the rortin' and the rootin' Glad had been flogging whoppers at her Covid pressers.

When Gladys said that locking down only Labor-oriented LGAs was on public health advice she was lying. The advice was the exact opposite.

"Gladys Berejiklian repeatedly said during the outbreak that all decisions were based on health advice". Rather, Gold Standard Glady's priorities were wedging Victoria, punching down on Labor LGAs and coddling her fan base of ladies-who-lunch from the leafy 'burbs. Gladys's delight at the prospect of Delta leaking to Melbourne had the chutzpah of a small boy peeing through someone's letter box, then ringing the doorbell to ask how far it went (Maureen Lipman).

ICAC's determination of Gladys's fitness for office is a ways off yet and moot given she's fleeing the field for, no doubt, some well remunerated sinecures in the banking industry where dodgy practice is a credential not a crime. Two Thumbs' title as the most prolific liar in Oz politics can remain unchallenged.

Morrison finds himself the chameleon on a tartan rug; he and his image wranglers will be confused about where to turn. The carefully crafted personas that are on scheduled rotation now all come with a clear warning label - this man is a duplicitous liar and a fraud. It took Emmanuel Macron to bell the cat - "I don't think, I know". Our own sycophantic media, too cowed, compliant or complicit to bother with their KPI of holding power to account could not ignore the president of France calling out our Liar-In-Chief. Joe Biden sunk the slipper with his less than subtle dig at the deceit of his orange predecessor's number 1 fanboy. The Riefenstahlists of the Kunkel/Finkelstein/Gaetjens lumpy carpet collective would've whiteboarded dead cat scenarios through the wee small hours as their planned narrative of Brave Sir Scotty fighting for our freedoms is lost to the reality of a shouty Crusader Rabid - our own Trumpy Try-hard.

Being annointed by god makes him impervious to self-reflection or to accept that he is accountable to anyone real. Shouty, petulant man-baby is the real Scott Morrison. Under pressure he floats to the top of the borscht of his confected characters whose purpose it is to hide the real Scott Morrison from public scrutiny. Now the accumulated mistrust of a serial liar has permeated his own troops. Whenever he announces his latest position on an issue they all know he says whatever is convenient at the time regardless of the facts.

His lies are going fractal - each lie covered by another lie. Morrison's liar tag will become a tattoo, his defining characteristic. The smarm will be replaced by the jutted jaw, shouted accusations, panicked, flatulant gibberings, and desperate sloganeering as the drain hole of a prospective Labor-initiated federal integrity commission draws nearer. "Who can you trust?" is an interesting election pitch from a bloke now widely tagged as a consummate deceiver, a nasty bully with a pathological fear of scrutiny.

The slow yet satisfying unravelling of the most loathsome toad to ever infect our politics is coming. Enjoy!


Katharine Murphy, The Guardian

Inside Scott Morrison’s election strategy. Karen Middleton, The Saturday Paper (paywalled).


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