I suppose a rort is out of the question
- 2 hours ago
- 5 min read
Purple member embraced by the ginger minger. Will he last?*
Yeah, yeah - juvenile, but it's the priapic Barnaby so the smutty tone is appropriate
What does it say about a political party when its popularity is improved by recruiting Barnaby Joyce?
One Nation is the junk drawer of politics - it's an embarrassment of wretches.
Dwarf tosser "Malcolm-Ieuan: Roberts., the living soul" (sic) is a climate science-denying homunculus and a rarity for One Nation - he's stuck around. Person of girth and conspiracy nutter Cray-Cray Kelly, once a Liberal thence the UAP's prime minister-in-waiting, later a wouldabeen independent and now Libertarian was campaign director of the One Nation bouncy castle for much of 2024. Mark "Biff" Latham, coprophiliac, national embarrassment and Labor Party rat washed up on One Nation shores like the detritus he'd become. Then there's Trump fan boy and Liberal turncoat Cory Bernardi who is now a ON upper house man in SA after failing at his own RWNJ foray, the Australian Conservatives movement:
10 years a Liberal Party senator and never promoted he walked out on the government just seven months after being elected near the top of the South Australian Liberal ticket at the 2016 election. Sinead Bernardi on her husband - they have the perfect marriage because they’re “both in love with the same man”. “Cory obviously has this huge belief in himself … If you didn’t love a guy who was so in love with himself you’d have a lot of trouble living with Cory. Life – I don’t think he’d mind me saying this – it’s all about Cory. I am all about Cory, and he is all about Cory, so it makes it easy.”
One Nation candidate vetting was undertaken by a convicted rapist, in news that should surprise no one given the calibre of their aspirants:
"A One Nation candidate at last year’s election in Western Australia had been convicted of 15 breaches of family violence restraining orders. A One Nation candidate in the South Australian elections had been charged with breaching family protection orders. Another candidate was dumped after it was revealed there was a warrant for his arrest in the UK after failing to attend court to face a sexual offences charge. A candidate in the 2022 federal election withdrew after his comments downplaying the prevalence of women being murdered and other misogynistic comments emerged." Bernard Keane, Crikey. 13 April 2026
Then, inevitability, Barnaby stepped in.
Drunk even by naval standards, Barking Barmy Joyce was a lay down misère for Pauline when video of his mimicry of a chalk outline on a Braddon footpath came to her attention - 'there's my boy!' she proclaimed. Barnaby is her stand out - a VB survivor and champion of the bush who extends One Nation's appeal beyond the racists and cookers to take in designated drivers, DIY dentists, staff humpers, bumpkins, rugged self-reliant agrarian socialists and people who crowd the luggage carousel at airports. He's the icing on the One Nation cake, the crust on Pauline's pie.
Unlike Pauline, Barnaby is not totally without self-awareness. He has no shortage of self-regard but he knows his name has the same appeal as genital warts in metropolitan Australia and with women generally. Ladies' change rooms aside (if 2014 WA Rural Woman of the Year Catherine Marriott is to be believed), his happy hunting grounds are where gormless rustics congregate to bitch and moan in accordance with the their standard schedule of grievances - "inner-city elites", the generic "woke", "lefties", "greenies" et al. It plays well to a limited audience.
Joyce and Hanson are both media darlings. And media whores. Controversy invites attention, circuses draw crowds. A symbiotic relationship has grown between the media and Joyce/Hanson. The puerile blathering, the cartoonish temperaments - it captures eyeballs and gives the deranged ranga and mulga dill wide exposure. Which is a two-edged sword.
Shining light on the One Nation toadstool shelter will burst their balloon not too far into the future. Even many ON supporters recognise that Hanson has a yawning credibility gap when it comes to more than tremulous whining. BJ supposedly lends authority via his stints as deputy PM, yet ol' Drunkerby thinks gravitas is what he pours over his lamb chops, and that his frothy testiculating passes for serious discourse.
BJ's a poster boy for any campaign warning women not to leave their drinks unattended, he has fewer brains than Kurt Cobain, teeth like lepers toes and the sartorial style of a burst laundry bag chucked under a hedge. The melanophobic Hanson has a face that would drive rats from a barn and all the credibility of a rent boy's receipt and is so narrow minded her eyebrows meet at the back. You'd think television wouldn't do either of them any favours and you'd be right. More exposure will start to see a slide in their recent upswing in popularity.
Installing solar power on her Queensland home yet bagging clean energy, she voted for targeting foreign interference in Australia while her consiglieres James Ashby and Steve Dickson solicited millions of dollars from America's National Rifle Association (NRA) in return for working to overturn Australia's gun laws. “Let me make it very clear to the Australian people,” Hanson said,
“I have never sought donations, or political guidance, from the NRMA (sic).”
“They want someone who is going to be upfront and honest with them and I have always been that.”
To Andrew Bolt on Sky News, 2025
Jetting about on Big Vag's private Gulfstream, partying at Mar-a-Lago and staying in Rinehart’s Palm Beach mansion whilst masquerading as an outsider who supports ordinary Australians she loves "absolutely everything about Donald Trump” and thinks “all of his policies are fantastic”. The egregious Mein Trumpf is anathema to Australians.
One Nation will unravel naturally. While the Libs and the Nats will delay that by jumping into the 'tough on immigration' auction and committing self-harm by preferencing One Nation ("Pumping up One Nation's tyres only gives them credibility & makes them a more compelling alternative to. . .the Libs¹ ") there is no way that a functional relationship is sustainable between two delusionists with vast, misplaced self-esteem who both think they're the big dog.
The Australian says its latest Newspoll shows the primary vote for Pauline Hanson’s party has dropped from 27% to 24%. The News Corp paper reckons the dip has come amid “greater scrutiny” as well as “increased pressure from a more assertive Coalition”.
Crikey, 20 April 2026
The Great Unravelling. That's when the Joyce/Hanson honeymoon hits the skids. There will be a Lathamesque falling out - it's only a matter of time. It will be fun.
*Betteridge’s Law of Headlines: any headline that ends in a question mark can be answered with “no.”
¹Pauline Hanson keeps forgetting to declare gifts from Gina Rinehart. Please explain. Sarah Martin, The Guardian. 24 March 2026
So much talk, so little change: Joyce revels in victimhood while women are denied justice. Bernard Keane, Crikey. 25 June 2021
Who is Pauline Hanson? For decades, Pauline Hanson has built her reputation as someone who stands with everyday Australians. If that's how she sees herself - what does her record show?
Like a cockroach that can’t be killed, Mark Latham has crawled around public life for too long. He must go. SMH editorial. 17 July 2025
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