Skiddy leaves his mark
Image: Inside Story
Full of shit and full of himself, Scooter has left the building.
His greatest contribution to Australian governance is his departure from it. A vacuous blowhard given to bovine slogans, a pentacostal nutter convinced of celestial endorsement from a deity whose prosperity ethos luckily aligns with his own, yet he was also sufficiently self-aware as to disguise his odious actuality with his daggy dad artiface and endless photo-op dress-ups.
The ever-present, punchable smirk belied any of his claims to humility; rather it underlined his belief in his own devine exceptionalism - a would-be theocrat thwarted by secular reason:
“God’s kingdom will come. It is in his hands, we trust in Him. We don’t trust in governments.”
Preaching at the Victory Life Centre in Perth, 2022
Following the electorate's clear gag reflex at the notion of this disingenuous gobshite continuing to represent the values of our country the image of a now forlorn figure on the Opposition's backbench nose-bleed seats ironically elicited some entirely undeserved empathy. Scrolling his phone hoping someone had returned his calls, his "if you're good at your job, you'll get a job" banality taking its time to manifest itself, he was due instead the forensic grilling by a no-nonsense Catherine Holmes at the Robodebt Royal Commission where he distinguished himself as a practised sophist and blame shifter. And, due also, the ignominy of his too-clever-by-half 'secret ministries' parliamentary censure - a loose equivalent to the impeachment of his orange BFF and fellow twatwaffle Dorito Donny.
History will record, and many will now recall his many failings - his cravenness and inaction in the face of adversity, his ducking of accountability, his claiming of the success of others, his malice and bullying, repurposing taxpayers' money to cronies and right wing supplicants - all manifestations of his lack of character.
A shrivelled, one-dimensional intellect, a light-weight incapable of reflection or forethought with underlying smarm and personality defects, mentored by a proselytizing grifter and informed by an eagle painting he was impervious to self-reflection - comfortable in the belief he was the Chosen One.
In his departing sermon presented as a valedictory speech he professed “faith in Jesus Christ, which gives me the faith to both forgive but also to be honest about my own failings and shortcomings” which he then failed to be honest about by neglecting to mention any.
Manifestly unsuited to the job he is a study in how megalomania, verbal diarrhea, treachery and happenstance can reward a shameless fabulist and serial failure.
A creationist's literal belief in biblical fables and his related, rampaging case of gynophobia are the 2 standouts in his compendium of personality defects.
He was visibly confused by the notion that women are equal.
He referred to females, including ministers, by their 1st names, men by their titles.
He mansplained over the top of his senior minister Anne Ruston when she was asked about the Lib government's treatment of women.
Women to him were packaging -
"1st party room as PM. B4 media came he requested all women MPs move seats & sit in front of him. As props. For the cameras. When media left, Scott’s men took their seats"
Julia Banks, former member for Chisholm.
Counsel for all things female, the eponymous "Jenny", was required to alert him to the unacceptability of rape via reference to his own daughters.
"I've had plenty of mates who have asked me if they can be my special envoy to sort the issue out with Pamela Anderson" he told Gold Coast radio station Hot Tomato FM. Wink, snerk, guffaw, eh? eh? Imagine that pasty slug pawing a woman. No actually. Don't do that.
He did get handsy with unsuspecting disaster victims, admitting to copping a quick feel as some sort of subliminal, evangelical healing process by his God's emissary - himself.
Inanity and beyond was a feature of the slogan bogan - each facile declaration followed by the smirk as if he'd passed on an inspirational maxim. The restraint shown by not shooting women protesters is a standout for the clueless galoot as was his spittle-flecked tirade against Christine Holgate who had the audacity to be a strong female role model as chief postie.
Which brings me to his trademark malice and bullying:
"The pattern is that if you attack Scott Morrison... he will lash out and background against you in the most vicious of ways."
Samantha Maiden, The Drum
This godly man, this humble servant of a benevolent divinity was ever eager to punch down, to victimise, neglect, torment and defame. Toddlers, Kopika, and Tharnicaa, asylum seekers, the unemployed, grannies. If some died, they died - his conscience was clear.
The black hole of honesty (truth bends around him) cultivated a regime where rorting was not a crime but a credential. The open disdain he held for established and trusted institutions went beyond the traditional Tory aversion to accountability - his God's will over-ruled any and all. Science? Evidence? Proof? Veracity? Phhht!
When he needed to step up he stepped out; when opportunity arose to show true leadership he hid behind the curtains. He was anti-anti-corruption, aesthetically unpleasant, duplicitous and wantonly cruel.
His loyalty is transactional - Brother Brian? Who? Brother Stuie? Who? His most valuable gofer was his photographer. His closest confidante fled for the exit as an integrity commission was coming to fruition.
He claims credit for 2 issues as stand-out big wins for his legacy - the response to Covid and the AUKUS pact. Let us remain mindful of the context:
Australia came through the worst of Covid better than most. This is not due to The Galoot who was tardy with vaccines - worsening lockdowns and blaming the premiers. He, and cherubic Rubbery Figures Frydenberg were dragged kicking and screaming by the premiers (and, FFS, Igor Mortis John Howard) to implement the JobKeeper initiative of Greg Combet and Sally McManus.
AUKUS cedes our residual sovereignty to the Americans for decades and for a brain-bleeding price. Delivery is on the never-never and we can be sure the Seppos will bill us for every one of their inevitable FUBARs.
It looked for too long a while that we'd never be rid of The Galoot - stuck like a clock spring on the soap. Now to be referred to in the past tense, his name should become a verb synonymous with opportunistic duplicity - "That car yard sold me a lemon. I was Morrisoned".
"He departs the parliament having scarred democracy, diminished trust in government, creating a legacy of shallow politics and photo op policies, of raising the individual above the collective, of switching the story to fit the circumstances; of above all, advancing Scott Morrison."
Amy Remeikis, The Guardian
Worst ever PM. Fuck off!
As Scott Morrison leaves Parliament, where does he rank among Australian prime ministers? The New Daily