Image: The Age, SMH
Ain't karma a bitch? Throw in some schadenfreude and last week's politics had me grinning so broadly the top half of my head nearly came off.
There is no shortage of spivs, wide boys, porch climbers, till fingerers or doorknob rattlers within the ranks of the proctocracy that forms our current federal government. We could be forgiven for thinking that dodgy behaviour is a precondtion for Tory party candidature given recent experience. Labor is not entirely blameless of course but they at least are now championing a federal integity commission which the "if you've nothing to hide you've nothing to fear" Tories will fight all the way to their "not guilty due to mental incapacity" pleas.
There is huge satisfaction to be had as their crime spree starts to unravel and no more so than when one of their heretofore poster boys is staring down the green mile to political oblivion. Black Angus Taylor, windfarm cancer survivor and Minister for Emissions Reduction ("hurr hurr, snerk snerk" - George Orwell. "Well done Angus" - Joseph Goebbels) has modelled the treatment of his portfolio on that of Tony Abbott's NBN template - making sure it achieves the exact opposite of what it's public purpose is purported to be.
That badly shaved yowie in red sluggos who was 2 PMs ago set out to maliciously sabotage a technology that underpins national economic well-being and competitiveness. Australia is now ranked at #64 on international comparisons of fixed broadband performance - below countries such as Romania, Thailand, Panama, Moldova, Uruguay and Kosovo whereas for mobile, ignored by the Tory luddites, we rank #4. The better economic managers in action.
The clunge of luddites who control the Tory's agenda, led by Fatman and Bobbinhead, that dullard duo of the colossal tossle FauxMo with his rusty sidekick Michael McSomebody, will die in a ditch to replicate the Warringah Wrecker's subversion - ensuring that the environmental and economic advantages of clean energy are not realised and are sacrificed to the loony fringe's steam engine dogma and theistic superstitions. We are in a climate change war and this collection of wilfully ignorant fitwucks are committing treason.
And so Black Angus will be protected until the inevitable - plus the Tories want to hang onto their 1 seat majority at any cost. FauxMo has already invoked the Phone A Friend option with a quick nudge, nudge, wink, wink call to Mick Wheeliebins-Fuller the boss copper and FauxMo's ex-neighbour who's ultimately at the pointy end of the Angus probe. No doubt, as has been intimated by the comments of said copper about it being a waste of his resources and having it wound up quickly, there will be more effort expended on weasel words for why there is no case to answer than there will be on any effort to nail the duplicitous prick Taylor (ala the behaviour of those Keystone Cops the AFP, a wholly-owned subsidiary of the L/NP Pty Ltd).
But, Black Angus is subject to a further probing over #watergate and #grassgate - the expenditure of $80M of taxpayer money to purchase the rights to non-existant water from big irrigators and the lobbying for the poisoning of endangered native grasslands to benefit Taylor family farming interests.
FauxMo will duck and weave, he'll distract and delay, he'll obfuscate and dissemble but the congealed plate scrapings that is Angus Taylor will come to a nasty end. A wonderful irony is that it could be metadata that brings him down. I eagerly await his last words.
Also publshied in the Australian Independent Media Network
References:
Speed Test Global Index - October 2019
Watergate Crew: the regatta of mates behind Australia’s richest water deal - Michaelwest.com.au
The green green #grassgate of home: Angus Taylor’s latest scandal explained - thebigsmoke.com.au
The Guardian