The Twat In A Hat

"Fair dinkum mate" I heard on the news

A bloody big bus was out for a cruise

Painted on the sides in big bolded type

Was ScoMo's latest slogan

A load of old tripe

ScoMo's new image was there to be seen

Across parts of Queensland where he'd never before been

The locals were puzzled "Who the fuck is that prat?"

The answer was prompt, it came quickly back

"We don't really know him, that twat in the hat"

A pie in his one hand, a beer in his other

But a dinkum true blue is what we would druther

Not a second rate ad-man, and try-hard at that

Shouting and ranting and denying the facts

We don't really like him, that twat in the hat

"Just one bloody moment" came a cry from the back

"I've come a long way down that dusty bush track"

"I'm the real deal - a rustic wombat''

The purple-faced pisshead pushed his way to the front

"If you're after fair dinkum then I'm the twat in a hat"

Is this the worst band in the world?

The malignant monsignor from Manly: Abbottageddon

The Undead - haunting the House under the hill

Egregious arseholes - The Top Ten

You've reached rock bottom

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