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Old White Men

In defense of a demographic.

There are characteristics of stereotypical geezerdom that I cheerfully accept as I slide into old age. Unsolicited maudlin reminiscing, wearing a hat while driving, a shambling monopolisation of pedestrian space and unkemptness (the dot of shame*, the coffee-crusted moustache, the unzipped fly) are just some of the behaviours to be embraced - because who gives a fuck!

*That small wet patch on the crotch that shows that the drops were not all thoroughly shaken off

Hipsters (now there's a demographic ripe for ridicule) are now misappropriating geezerdom as statements of cool. Beards, flat caps, cardigans, vinyl records, retro pushbikes. This is cultural appropriation - an egregious crime in the regressive lefties' Manual of Confected Outrage. Except? Except that they're stealing our stuff, and we are old and white and male. Old, white males - the cause of all that is evil in the world, the baddest of the bad.

This is not to claim victimhood for old white males - it's a complaint about a term that is now being sprayed about as a pejorative. We are not victims, we as a collective are achievers, doers, inventors, explorers, chance-takers. We do not seek pity - that is the domain of the culture warriors, the hand-wringing self-flagellating censors, finger pointers and the look-at-me's ; a group comprised significantly of affluent white people who haunt the pages of left-leaning publications as journos and opinionista. This does not in any way discount the non-white, non-male achievers, doers, inventors, explorers and chance-takers - Mandela, Martin Luther King Jr, Ghandi, Greer and so many others. This is not a competition.

This is a defense of the much-maligned, old, white male demographic. Labeling a group and all of its members in accordance with the behaviours of individuals is not acceptable. Except for us old, white males. Claiming membership of any group that precludes whiteness and maleness is now worn as a badge of honour, of worthiness by circumstance - 'I am not of the patriarchy I am one of the oppressed, I have received no privilege, I am by default a noteworthy individual'.

Tony Abbott, Peter Dutton, John Howard, Donald Trump et al are not typical, they are exceptions. They have done no favours for us geezers, being held up as subliminal justification for labeling the rest of us; an 'us'* that includes many millions of progressives, lefties, greenies, human rights advocates, gay men, freedoms advocates and champions of justice. Denigrating old white males, by inference, denigrates Michelangelo, Charles Darwin, Neil Armstrong, Isaac Newton, Beethoven, Charles Dickens and a roll call of achievers far too long for any comprehensive list. If you want to piss off a significant number of those who align on the leftish fundamentals then keep up the denigration you fatuous pricks.

*'anus' - a purely accidental pun of course but worthy of note

Nothing will change of course until we, as a group, are displaced from our assumed position of privilege and advantage and cede control to some other demographic who can then be demonised in turn. Good luck with that. I think white males will continue to do what we've always done - good and bad. I can hold a door open to a woman and still cheer on the sisterhood, and I won't be all smug and virtuous purely because I am on first name terms with the waiter at the local Thai restaurant. But perhaps I should check my fly before leaving the house.

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