FFS Albo, show some mongrel!

Wolf image: Getty Images

How hard can it be Albo?

You're up against a cadre of mullet-headed, swivel-eyed, spittle-flecked, purse-lipped, curtain-twitching, flabby-jowelled, short-armed, mouth-breathing, bristle-headed, bow-legged, soggy-crotched, gravy-stained, drink-addled, baggy-arsed, liver-spotted, pendulous bellied, stiff-knecked, soft-cocked, addle-pated, snaggle-toothed, self-satisfied, shit-grinning, jelly-backed, knee-bending, wombat-headed, training-wheeled, bottom-feeding charity bin bandits, bobble-headed, undies-sniffing self-abusers, brown baggers, skivers, poons, backstabbers and assassins, doorknob jigglers, porch climbers, coin slot fingerers, touts, hairy-palmed monkey spankers and shrubbery-skulkers, pilferers, dangle berries, gimps, lickspittles, tree poisoners, flat-earthers, frog boilers, humbugs, liars and thieves.

They are discredited, disgraced, dishonourable, double-dealing, duplicitous detritus. And you won't take 'em head on? You won't challenge this incompetent coagulation of feculent barrel scrapings in a face-to-face knuckling? FFS! Could there be an easier target? Is there anywhere a more deserving coffle of arses to kick?

“I will hold his government to account, strongly and forcefully. I am a values politician. But I also say this — I’m not Tony Abbott.

“People want solutions, not arguments. They have conflict fatigue.”

Albo, 2019

Mate, not being Tony Abbott means not being an arsehole - that leaves plenty of latitude for how you fight the Tories. "I like fighting Tories. That's what I do." Remember that Albo? That was you in 2012.

Conflict fatique? Bollocks! We want these bastards to face the consequences of their duplicity, we want the rorters, grifters and lurk merchants held to account, we want retribution for years of malfeasance and snark.

You cannot negotiate with RWFWs Albo. Negotiation is capitulation, appeasement is surrender. Theirs is a zero sum game with one winner. And it ain't you Albo. Or us.

We want that perpetual, condescending, god's-on-my-side smirk wiped off FauxMo's happy-clapper face.

We want you to slap those smug, chubby Freudenberg cheeks.

We want the potato-headed Herr Kipfler called out constantly for his sadism and incompetence.

We want that sour kraut Cormann to be shown up for the treachorous double-dealer that he is.

We want the priapic, purple Beetrooter pursued.

We want an end to incompetence, wilful ignorance and creeping totalitarianism.

We want a federal integrity commission with teeth.

We want real action on climate change and species extinction.

We want an end to the victimisation of those who were handed the shitty end of life's stick.

We want an Australia as it should be and can be - no more pandering to the most privileged, no more genuflecting to religious bigots, no more profiteering by tax-evading foreign pillagers.

What are you waiting for Albo? The inevitable Lib self-immolation? Dutton's shank to Morrison's ribs? Joyce's spiking of McCormack's beer? What harm will this freakshow cause while you play the long game?

Don't play nice. They won't return the favour; they'll see any civility or courtesy as weakness and they'll double down. They are serial offenders - do you think they'll change?

Watching Abbott punch himself in the head was good fun. Not much was required of Labor in those times other than to enjoy the spectacle. Then came Malcolm and the Lib's bitter tribal wars and again, it was great spectator sport. The coming election was to be a lay down misere, FauxMo's Machieavellian subterfuge to steal the top spot should've sealed the deal for you. Well, that went well,didn't it?

Your Labor strategy folk fucked up in the election campaign. Bigly. The electorate has the collective memory of a goldfish yet there was no attacking of the abysmal preceding six years of incompetence and failure, no mention of the infighting, no highlighting of the corruption and disregard for our institutions, no reminders of their sabotage of our most treasured icons such as the ABC and CSIRO and our values and democracy. You thought the best strategy was to be calm and measured and forgiving of the past. And you got played like a fiddle.

Now you seem to have lost your bottle entirely. Put up a fight FFS! Whatever happened to principles and the ethos of the Labor Party? Are you selling us out Albo? Are you collaborating with the enemy?

We need a mongrel not a pussy.


Also posted in the Australian Independent Media Network